?

What am I still doing here?

haaay!

On Playing Games

A game is a competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance. A game is played by one or more persons usually to amuse oneself or entertain a group of spectators. A set of rules is followed to avoid chaos.

The corporate world is like a game. The work or lack of work is competitive. My ability to simulate I am busy even if there is not a single task on my plate is challenged. My luck to get shipped to another country is like winning the Lotto. My stamina to carry on in this environment is killing me. How much longer is acceptable to keep the show going?

God, help me survive this episode in my existence.

On the Worse Case Scenario

I like to think that I am a strong person. I expect the worse case scenario so when those instances become a reality it would not be as painful as it should be. No positive expectations so when good things come my way it will feel like heaven.

Is this a good attitude or a bad approach? Should I think of positive things instead of the negative stuff? Should I avoid all the negativity? Should I change my outlook?

What now? Is it the time to let go of all the negativity and concentrate on the positive things life has to bring? Would it hurt more if the opposite happens?

Oh well... Like what they say... thoughts become actions and actions will eventually become habits and realities.

Post Game Insights on Game 4

It was weird. They played zone but we could not seem to capitalize on it.We were there but somehow we lost it. We eventually got the lead but they got it back.
Another addition to the learning experience collection.

Lack of aggressiveness? I would not accept that. I know I did my all in defense. But still, another blank game. Indecisiveness. Attempts not going in. Think of passing. Interceptions. Bad decision making. Argh. Too much negativity.

I think I just have many things going on my mind. Or is it just that I am putting too much pressure on myself? I should just let the game come to me.

Or... should I stop this nonsense?

Are You Mocking Me?

I approached the MES (mystery email sender) and asked for a detailed information regarding the interesting matter that caught my attention. MES needed 4 people with my skills. It was for a long term project which means a year! As of now, MES had a lead and needs 4 engineers. Apparently my name showed up around 3 months ago. However, this person -- Cruella Devil -- whose only concern is to earn money blocked me off! Supposedly, my PRF was on the works. But lo and behold, my name showed up again!

Lets say I had a PRF, I should respect it daw. But how the hell could I respect something not really there? Where is this whatever PRF? Where is the evidence? And why did my name appeared? Apparently, Cruella skipped a step from the standard process. Great, right?

I had been billing to bench since I got rolled off from my previous project last May 30! I keyed as billable but the application did not want to accept. I told MES I will email her ASAP when I do not see my PRF.

And guess what? When I checked my email a couple of minutes ago, I saw my PRF! WTF!

Since I have a stupid PRF 'til August 2009, should I respect it? MES said in order to be rolled off I need to find a replacement. But hello, with the bulk of tasks coming in, I think 1 person can manage.

What is is? Joke time! Are you mocking me? I do not know anymore. Do you want me to stay or to take the leap of fate? Faith and trust nalang.