On Catching Up

Hello champola!

What’s up ketchup?

How are you doing, kambing?

Hope all is well, shovel.

I am sorry, strawberry.

I am sort of restless cutest.

So long, pagong!

:)

On Turn of Tides

The other week I got a call from a recruiter. I do not remember submitting anything recently. I guess they are updating their records.

On my way to work last Tuesday I was pondering that I might actually reach a decade in my current job. I am on my 6th year and running. The company offers opportunities to grow. It is just a matter on how I act to it that will make the difference. Why would I transfer to a different company and build myself again? Why should I go through the hassle.


Then the unexpected happened. I got a call. I took the test and underwent the HR interview. Apparently my chicken penmanship and imagination made sense and I passed both according to an insider. Next in line is a panel interview then a call interview from an overseas client.

Kakaiba KA talaga. Whenever I am at the brink of accepting my situation you turn things around. Don't fear, just believe. :)

On Second Monthsary

Today marks the second month of after my operation. My condition is better compared to the first week of hell when I cannot hardly move my leg even a single millimeter. At present, I am more mobile. No step-slide and shuffling when walking on flat surfaces. As for ramps, I am more cautious around them since my balance is kinda wobbly. The stairs is still a challenge. In fairness I can alternate my steps already but it feels awkward. I need to bend my knee more!

I should be happy with my progress. However, deep down there is this not so good feeling. I should let down my defense mechanism instinct.

After 2 months, flexion increased and lag decreased. I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday. :)

On Takaw

One cup for chicken
Another one for veggies
Diet? What is that?

On White Flag

Whatever happens
You are at the losing end
This is the sad truth

Might as well shut up
Rather waste your energy
For something you can't achieve

Quit because you are
unhappy not because it
is so difficult

On PCL Update After Rehab Day 12

In fairness each time I consulted my rehab doctor he saw an improvement. First time I saw him I could barely move without any support. Second session was better. I was able to shuffle my way to the bed. The most recent session was by far the best. I had a cane for props only. After 12 PT sessions, flexion was up to 100-110 degrees and lag was at 5 around degrees. Though, my quads are still jello.

Woohoo! Now is not the time to be complacent. I should push and persevere more to reach my goal. By next consultation, my flexion should be at least 130 degrees and lag should be gone. Hopefully I could jog as well.

So why am I punishing myself in rehab? If I get better, would I still be able to play? Would I still play? No doubt I love sports. Sports have been a huge part of my life. But the question is, can I live without participating physically in sports? I have done it for almost 3 months and I am still alive.

Oh well, I will cross the bridge when I get there. For the meantime, I should focus on getting better. Eyes on the prize, self. Kakayanin ko ito kasi andiyan ka e. :)

On Recovery

Things happen for a reason. I may not have found the answer why I completely tore a ligament but it has happened and I must live with it. I am grateful that I have came through the toughest portion of my rehabilitation. However, the road to recovery is not yet over. I have to keep fighting until the rest of my existence.

Rehabilitation and recovery needs lots of time, patience and perseverance. It is tough and it can be tougher. But I will get over the hump because I know You are here by my side. It is You who can make possible what for me is simply impossible. Aja!

On Disable Perks

There were many low moments in my road to recovery. Everyday waking moment was a struggle. The first few days were the worst! There were instances when I cannot move my leg on my own! Honestly, it has been tough and continues to be challenging. But life cannot be bad all the time. Somehow there are perks. It is just a matter of perspective.

1. Parking is one of the challenges in the metro. Good luck if you find one when you go to the mall after two hours from the opening time. Thank God for disabled parking! I would have missed my rehab doctor if I did not park on that slot this afternoon. Too bad that not all establishments have at least one.   
2. Chivalry is lost. Men don't open doors for ladies. Younger people don't give up their seats to the elderly. No apologies when you bump or hit someone while walking. But due to my handicapped look, an American and a Chinese gave up their seats, guards open the door and people don't stick too close at malls. But not without giving me a weird look.
3. Lines exist for a purpose. They serve as a tool for order. I have no troubles lining up. But when the guard saw me he caught my attention and directed me to the priority lane. Who am I not to take the chance? :)
4. My family members do not mind me before. However due to my condition they are more conscious of my needs. They make it a point that I am comfortable. I feel loved.

It is not all bad after all. :)

On Petrichor

Badly miss the smell
Wet ground and grass -- petrichor
Someday'll reunite

On Quota

Quota in their minds
It's all about the numbers
Quality is lost

On Stupidity

Doing the same things
Expecting other results
That's stupidity

On 6 Stitches

Nung nakita ko
Bigla akong nanghina
Hey there 6 stitches!

On PCL Day Unknown

Rehab program at present:

• Ultrasound with Fatsum Gel for 10 minutes
• Tense with leg elevated plus weights on knees 20 minutes
• Stretching foot to butt or til saan lang kaya = 3 times
• En-dynamic a) weak leg with 6 seconds hold/rest 15 minutes; resistance = 2.5 b) strong leg 20 reps; resistance = 6; c) both legs 20 reps; resistance = 6
• Stationary bike with no resistance for 15 minutes (yes! finally naka bike na ako!)
• Up and down the stairs with small steps = 5 rounds
• Walking with cane for 5 rounds

Things to work on:

• stretching! try to remove the lag. tan gina! masakit!
• be more conscious of my form while walking. avoid the limp and bounce.

Goal:

• Jogging na by 3rd month!

On Center of Attention

On the first meeting you were pakipot. You distanced yourself for whatever reasons. Then you criticized them. You commented that you don't like them and said not so nice things.

Apparently that was just a show. An evil scheme. A plot to get their attention so you can be the star. Now that you have a new bunch of “friendly friends” you neglect me like a speck of dust. Amidst a group you do not acknowledge my presence instead greet everyone else I am with.

After all the bashing you are now “friendly friends”. You are feeling close with matching touch-touch-akbay-haplos pa. Despite the meaningful looks you still continue. Good thing I chose my friends and they are gentlemen.

Then again, ang tipo kong mga lalake ay maginoo at medyo bastos. Center of attention ka nga at pinag-uusapan. Pero kung alam mo lang, madaming hindi magagandang bagay ang pinagsasabi tungkol sa iyo.

On Unsaid

Nasabi ko na ata lahat sa bestfriend ko.
Maliban na lang siguro na mahal ko siya.

</3

On K.I.T.

I am not good at keeping in touch. I guess that is the reason why I do not have close friends. I take the initiative to keep the communication alive through occasional emails and texts. I ponder if I am being too makulit already because eventually we drift apart. Or maybe they are just too busy and occupied with their own lives that I do not fit in it anymore. :(

But YOU are an exception. I will never get tired of taking a time out to keep our friendship alive.

On Broken

When people first saw me in crutches they could not help but ask what happened to me. I appreciate the concern but there comes a point wherein I got tired of explaining what happened. In the countless years I have engaged in physical activities July 11 was the first time I seriously got injured. I want to erase that memory on how I tore a ligament in a none bearing just for fun game lang.. Ang saklap. 

Three weeks ago, I graduated from crutches. Now I am using a single cane. But still I get stares and questions from people. Maybe it is due to the sterile strip under my chin due to an unfortunate event that transpired last Christmas. 

A while ago on my first day of work for 2012, the security guard asked me: Ma'am nahulog kayo?

I replied: 

Wag mo nang itanong kung bakit ako nabalian ng buto. 

Malamang nung nahulog ako sa'yo.
'Di mo ko sinalo.

Fail.

On Uneasy

I want to let go

But can’t find the right timing

Just can’t let it out

All at my lonesome

I finally released it

I am so relieved

Feels good to let go

Of something I’ve held on to

Sarap ng feeling!

On Technology

FaceTime is amazing! I saw and talked to my cousin in New Zealand. She toured me around her place. She introduced me to the people she is with. They were all in red in celebration for New Year. I also saw my aunt and cousins over at Chicago. They were in red as well. They were in a school to celebrate New Year’s Eve. When 12mn (their time) struck they toasted to another new year ahead. My youngest cousin even danced and sang “Maligayang Pasko”. Super cute!

I am thankful for Technology. It makes keeping in touch with people on the other side of the globe way easier. 

Now, should I buy an Iphone 4s or Ipad 2 or Iphone?:))

On 2012 Goals

New Year = New Goals.

1. Improve relationship with Kuya Jess - be more attentive. converse more. be real. be true
2. Better Me - spiritually, mentally and physically
3. Be happy - find what I want to do in life. be free.

On 2012 Priorities

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some 5 balls in the air. They are WORK, FAMILY, HEALTH, FRIENDS and SPIRIT and you are keeping all these in the air.You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other 4 balls – FAMILY, HEALTH, FRIENDS and SPIRIT – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, niched, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it. “

Note to self: Value has a value only if its value is valued. – Bryan Dyson, former CEO of Coca Cola

So 2012 and the years to come is for working efficiently during office hours and leaving on time. It is time to prioritize the required time for my family, friends and have proper rest.

Let's do this!