On Gadget

It is expensive
20 plus for a gadget
But its so pretty!

Err, decisions. Argh!
To buy or not to buy it
Money, where are you?

On PCL Day ?

Obviously I have lost count. I am thankful that my so-called freak accident did not harm my knee. After a month and a couple of days it felt good. Tested my knee in the pool. Though I cannot fully bend it yet, I could somehow swim despite the weird feeling. I guess it is normal. Sanayan lang.

I did lots of walking too. Speed is improving but parentals are telling me to slow down. My form is another story. I need to take conscious effort not to limp.

Patience and perseverance do not leave me.

On BF

After all these years, it is still you. Honestly, I have thought of "what could have been". We have talked about it too but arrived at another open ended question. 


I guess things really do happen for a reason. If we did start our story a baker's dozen years ago I don't think our relationship could withstand the changes due to immaturity and other factors. I would not have been strong enough to take the challenges. No regrets. We still have communication despite the distance, time difference and years. After all these years, you are still my bestfriend. Buti nalang kasi "Ang boyfriend napapalitan; ang bestfriend, hindi."

On Suspicion

The x-ray reading is out. No jaw fracture. Thank God! But I decided that I will still undergo CT scan when I get back Manila. Before the x-ray did not capture the PCL tear so this time I want to make sure that it is really nothing. 

Do I have it in me to face the results? Seems like malapitin ako disgrasya lately. I hope and pray nothing comes up. Nanghihina na ako....

On Montsary

Today marked the first month from my post PCL reconstruction. I feel my condition has improved and my recovery is on the right track. I can walk without support but the limp is there. I get tired easily though. Guess I lack practice. I also need to work on my flexibility.

Okay na right? But guess what? I gained additional 6 stitches! I don't know what transpired. My stomach was aching so I rushed to the bathroom. Dsymen. Next thing I saw was the ceiling and me breathing deeply on the floor. So I sat up in panic and called mom. Then I saw blood dripping right under my cheek. Bad trip.

Alan mo yun, hindi ko na masyado kelangan tulong tapos ito naman nangyari. Nakuha ko pang maligo bago tinakbo sa ER. Hello 6 stitches! Tapos suspicious jaw fracture pa. :( Pero hindi muna ako nagpag CT scan kasi may flight ako.

Despite the freak accident  I am still lucky that I made it to my flight after missing it last October. Pinag mukha nanaman sa akin na dapat ako maging thankful na mayroon akong pamilya na nagmamahal sa akin. Kahit ano mangyari, kahit na maging hassle o pabigat ako andiyan parin sila para sa akin.

So kamusta ang pasko ninyo?

On PCL Day.....

I lost count. Counting the days are not important. Instead I should make each day count.

Updates? Quads are jello but slowly getting some form. Strength and power are picking up however I still struggle with the en dynamic. Flexibility is a challenge which leads to less mobility. I still cannot reach my ass. During stretching todo nginig pa. My calves tighten.

On a lighter note, I graduated from crutches! I am now dependent on a SINGLE cane! At some instances I can walk without putting any weight on the cane but the limp is still there. I can do steps. I think I've walked too much and there is a small lump starting to form at the back of my knee. Did I push too hard? Ill put hot compress first and hopefully it disappears. I hope it is nothing bad.

Tiis pa. Sikap pa. Malalampasan ko din ito.

On Feeling First Day High

Back to work after a long layoff.

Can't say that it is good to be back though. Bummer.

On PCL Day 14

Today is my second day out other than checkup or rehab. As a thank you I treated bunso and helper for lunch. Target was Bonchon at Galle but ended up at Buffalo Wings and Things. Stupid guard! He shouldn't have allowed vehicles to enter if the parking lot is already full! We spent 14 minutes going around in circles and eventually went out. We had to pay 40 bucks pa. FML.

Anyway, I can walk using 1 stick! But I am more comfortable using 2 sticks. It is faster for me to go  in and out the car. Steps are not as huge as a challenge anymore. Basically, I am getting familiar on how to use the sticks na. Also, I was able to take a couple of steps without support. Question is, am I doing it right? Is my form correct? Am I pushing myself too hard at baka mabigla naman ako? Hahayz. Sana maging ok ang lahat.

On The End?

Coming together 2 years ago was a huge challenge. A group of people from different backgrounds decided to join forces. It was a rough journey and it is still. But there was progress for people who stuck together. Eventually glimpses of success was experienced when the team took the initiative to work together. But where are we right now?

It saddens to know that something you put time and effort on is slowly disintegrating. It takes time, effort and discipline to be part of a team. But it takes more sacrifice to form one and work as one.

Is this the end of the road?

Huwag naman sana. Sana mayroon pa akong maabutan sa panahon na magaling na ako....

On PCL Day 13

Hello Rehab day 3! Same same. Ultrasound, stretch (90 degrees) and tense with hot packs. After was a 2 round walk with a 4-legged cane. Then the flexion machine. My quads are weak. :( Todo nginig even if 0 lang yung flexion. :( 


Improvement seems slow. My legs are soooo weak. I have been stuck downstairs for almost two weeks. I choose not to go out to avoid the hassle. Hirap na hirap na ako. :( What am I to do? I push myself naman. I take time to exercise on my own. But I guess kulang pa e. Should I push myself more? Should I not baby it anymore? Even if there is pain, sige parin?


Here I am again doubting if I did the right thing. Not everyone who tore the PCL don't have it reconstructed. I guess pro athletes are the only ones who do it. So why did I have it reconstructed? Sports is not my source of income and I managed to live four months despite the tear. Did I make the right decision? 


Oh well, tapos na. All I can do is push push push! At least I can walk with one support!. Need to gain back confidence. Need to work on my quads para when I go back on Friday big improvement on the machine. As they say, "No one said it would be easy; we just said it'd be worth it." I pray each night that I see improvements and maka-recover na ako the soonest.

On Kailan

Kailan kaya

Akong makakalad

makakatakbo

Kailan kaya

Akong makakapasok

Sa opisina

Kailan kaya

Akong magiging okay

Ha-hay tuhod ko.

On PCL Day 11

Day 2 of rehab. The pain killer did its job and minimized the pain. I believe my knee is slowly improving. Flexion is almost 90 degrees. However, strength is not yet there. Walking without the help of the sticks seems dim for now. My left leg is still floating. I'm baby-ing it. At the back of my mind I am taking care of it. Thus, I compromise the proper way of walking. Knowing me, I have inborn tactics to minimize the pain. Unknowingly I am still afraid to put 100% weight on it. Thus the precaution.

On a positive note, I can sit and stand on my own. No assistance needed other my bff sticks. Next goal is to reach at least 100 degrees flexion and gain confidence walking with one stick nalang. Lets do this!

On Soltitude

Solitude causes
Loneliness, yes but also
Fits of ecstasy

On PCL Day 10

First day out other than visiting my doctors! Have family lunch at Imperial Palace. Food is not that great considering that they advertised it as Intercontinental. Sobrang layo sa Imperial Palace sa Cebu! Then again, iba naman talaga yun.

Anyway, I think I did fairly well. I was seated at the passenger seat. Less hassle getting in and out of the car. Improving! I think I did well on the steps. Now, if only I can get rid of at least one stick so that I could get my own food and not just stay stuck seated.

On Unsaid

Utak at puso
Ikaw ang iniisip
At tinitibok

Kung alam mo lang
Hangang ngayon, kaw parin
Ang nilalaman

Nakakahiya
Nakaraan na iyon
"Shhh" nalang ako

On PCL Day 8

Tan Gina!

MASAKIT!!!!

First day of rehab sucked!

Just did ultrasound, tense plus hot packs, weights for arms, failed at walking using the cane, painful stretch (foot to back of butt) and leg raises using the foam.

Tan Gina!

On Wish List 2011

Just because it is December...

1. Wrist watch na dress watch
I got myself a chunky sports watch from katas ng SG already. Now I like a dress watch. Something for formal functions like weddings, office meetings, interviews and dinners. I have no particular brand in mind basta yung sakto Lang sa wrist ko na payat. 

2.  Turfs 7.5
I know I am currently "injured". *Sheeet! Injured ako! As in major injury! :( * I don't know when I can engage in sports. And if I do get the green light will I still play? So why turfs? Maybe to push myself to get better faster and motivate myself to make a comeback. 

3. Underwear
Wala Lang. I just watched Victoria secret's fashion show and oh wow! I want those bling-bling under garments! Buy seriously, kahit ba bench Lang ok na. 

4. Full and fast recovery
I am having questions if i made the right decision. Maybe I am having these doubts because of my current physical state. So yeah, I wish that I get better the soonest. My savings are depleting and my fighting spirit is losing its energy. Ayaw ko na maging pabigat. 

5. Good Health
I pray that my lolo will be okay. No more clots and daily injections. Same goes for mom's eye, dad's neck, sister's head, bunso's heart and kuya's soon to be baby. 

6. The One
Kailan ka ba dadating? Andiyan ka ba? :( Hinog na ako. Handa na ako mahulog at ibigay ang matamis kong OO. Uwi na you. 

On PCL Day 5

Had my first post operation check-up. Ortho says its good that I didn't have fever. But I should expect swelling pa on my thigh and ankles. Grabe, chubby legs na. :( I officially graduated from the blue immobilizer. He took out the bandage too. I'm afraid to see what is in store underneath. Found out I have 4 cuts. 3 small ones and 1 big one. Hope it won't scar that much.

Now time for exercises! Ankle pumps and leg raises! Hindi ko nga ma-raise yung paa ko, paano kaya yun? Hayz.

On Spirits

Almost all Philippine based Ultimate player is still on a Spirits high. Facebook posts say it all. I on the other hand is super ingit that I was not able to join the tournament again. Of all the days why that weekend? Haha, asa, as if I could play.

Hay, self-control. Stop looking at things that will put my spirits low. What's done is done. I should put all my efforts on getting better so I could play on Spirits 2012!

* Okay lang naman mangarap diba?

On PCL Day 3

I feel useless. I can walk with the help of the sticks but I can't stand up nor sit down on my own. I don't know how to position my leg. It feels so uneasy. Nakaka-ngawit! I can't move my leg on its own. Laging alalay. :(

Thank God it is not painful as I expect it to be. Yet there is still pain. Birthday pa naman ni bunso. Had dinner at home. Felt bad cause if I wasn't this immobile we could have celebrated it outside. Oh well, at least he likes his graduation/birthday/Christmas gift.

Looking forward to bending my knee or at least man lang making it move on its own. Fight!

On PCL Day 2

Yahoo!  Got discharged from the hospital!!! My wallet has a whole since my health card did not pay for the whole operation. I had to cover for the implant, ortho and anesthesiologist PF. :( Oh well, the price I have to pay for my age.

Anyway, what did I do today? The resident doctor advised me to walk around without support if kaya. Super duper challenge mehn! I feel like a child who is learning how to walk. I was able to walk around the perimeter of my bed with the help of the IV stand. I still can't bend my leg though due to the blue immobilizer. When I got home, I shuffled my way using the sticks. CR is not that bad compared to my experience in hospital. There is not much pain as I expected.

All in all, positive naman. Hoping that day 3 will be better. Birthday pa naman ni bunso.

On PCL Day 1

Had my operation earlier today. They picked me up from my room at around 5AM and was brought to the OR. After the 2 local anesthesia and penetrating the IV needle in my right hand I waited eagerly on top of the operating table. My Anesthesialogist asked if I wanted to be sedated. I replied "ok lang". Next thing I knew I was asleep. I woke up when my ortho greeted me and said "hi" then I was back at dreamland. In the middle of the operation or I do not know what part I woke up. I heard music but I did not feel anything nipple down. I did not see what transpired because there was this blue curtain which covered my view. It was cold and I think that is what woke me up. So I uttered, "malamig.... ang lamig... ang laming... zzzzzz".

I was awake when they finished, but I wasn't sure. Everything seems like a blur right now. So I was brought transferred to a bed and parked me at some corner. Someone asked me if I can feel my legs and if I can move my toes. I tried but it felt numb. I think the anesthesia was still in my system. I complained about the cold again so they covered me with a warmer. But despite that I shivered and everytime I did this machine went haywire.

Finally when I felt my lower body I was rolled back in my room. That was about almost 1pm already which made me wonder how long the operation was. Anyway, I watched tv, drank meds, ate, slept. I don't know, what else was I supposed to do.

The worse was when  I felt like peeing. It was such a huge struggle. They gave me a bedpan, pero ayaw e. Success lang nung sa make-shift toilet. :)

All in all, the surgery was not bad. I did not feel a thing. I was knocked out. Now the challenge is the recovery. I know there will be many obstacles. But I should not focus on that instead I should focus on my goal which is to get better the soonest. Fighting!

On Veins

My veins are not thick. This has been a challenge for most nurses/doctors and the like for a decade now. When I was in college, I fainted in the bathroom while doing number 1/2. I decided to have myself checked later that afternoon after my class since I had a test wherein I did bad anyway. On the way home I asked my dad to bring me to the hospital. He brought me to the ER and the nurses did their protocol. Next thing I knew, I was admitted. While I was half asleep I half heard that they needed to put IV on me. First attempt was a failure. The nurse was not able to find my vein so she had to call a fellow nurse and eventually a doctor to do the job.

When bunso had dengue last year, I volunteered to donate. However, when the nurse check my veins, it did not pass. Manipis daw. On top of that, I was underweight daw and yeah, I had slight sniffles. I guess blood donation is a NO for me. :(

Last October, my veins played its part once again at Singapore. I don't know if it is the training there or my veins are simply hard to find lang talaga,. She had a take-two before she was able to get blood successfully. First she  tried the left side because the week before I had blood taken in PI at the same side. I felt the needle, but I guess she did not do it right and nothing went to the tube. So she tried the right side and thank God she got it this time. All she uttered was, "This side, good side. Other side, no blood". But when I looked at my left arm there was blood naman. *Ahh, okay.*

If two was charm, it was not when I had my PCL reconstructed. I had myself admitted the night before the procedure for the pre-operation ekek. They advised fasting... no food after 10 and no liquids after 12. At around 11, 2 nurses came in to put IV. They where I wanted it. I said at my left hand since I am right handed. On they went to my left side, but failed. So they went back to my right side and checked. They tried and failed again. They told me they'll ask my doctor if they can use a child's needle. After 15 minutes, a lady doctor came in. She was nice and gentle. She was careful. Checked both hands and decided to try her luck at my left hand. Sadly, she failed. At least she was apologetic and she did not attempt again because "I had too much" already. I thought that was the end of it. But no! After a couple of minutes a guy doctor came in. He was too confident. As in dire-direcho lang siya. Sa sobrang sakit napa-iyak ako. Parang akong tanga, pero promise, ramdam na ramdam ko yung needle! My tears weren't enough, he tried again but this time he was slightly careful. Pero hindi din e. Hindi nila nakabit. Natusok lang ako ng 5 beses! If you count the blood sample and bleed check, I was pricked 7 times that night!

They decided not to put IV anymore and informed my ortho. The next day I was brought to the OR for my PCL reconstruction. I was lying pretty on the table when my Anesthesiologist entered and briefed me. Then he went frantic when he realized that I didn't have IV yet. He injected a local anesthesia then proceeded with the IV but my vein popped due to last night. Then he did the same procedure again and finally okay na!

Makes me wonder... are my veins thin? Or it just neglects needles and hospitals?

On Fighting

Hohohoho! The day is near and I am freaking out. I am really thankful that I have friends who have my back. I have family who will help me out with the financials (just in case I need help). Most importantly, the Ultimate is by my side.


As Lance Armstrong said... "We have two options in life both medically and emotionally, give up or fight like hell."  I choose to fight like hell. Giving up is not in my vocabulary. 


Good vibes. Good vibes!

On Bench Model

Nakakapagod ang maraming ginagawa. Yung tipong buong araw kang nakaupo sa harap ng computer. Hindi ka man lang makatayo para mag-CR or kumuha ng inumin. Parang hindi pwedeng tumigil man lang para huminga.

Pero mas nakakapagod ang maghanap ng gagawin kapag wala naman talagang kailangan gawin. Nakakaloko lalo kapag mayroong maghanap ng output. Kaya ito, kailangan magpanggap na busy.

Hello Bench model!

On Terrified

Friday 7am is the day and time. I am scared. They say I will be knocked out during the operation due to the anesthesia. But isn’t the injection for the anesthesia painful? Will the anesthesia do its job? What if I wake up in the middle of the procedure?  

Then again, I am not afraid of the procedure (yeah right). What frightens me more is the bill! Hello doctor’s fee, anesthesia, surgeon’s assistant, hospital facility and physical therapy. Man, where will I get the money?

On a serious note, what really terrifies me is the recovery period afterwards. Response to healing is case to case basis. I cannot imagine being immobile. Months without the adrenaline from sports will make me cranky I bet.

Haha, here I am terrifying myself with too much thinking. Maybe I should not read and research on it. I should go with the flow and put everything in God’s hand. He has His reason on why I am in this predicament. Maybe I will find the One in the process. Lol.

Aja! Lakasan ang loob at damihan ang dasal.

On My Wife

No'n nabasa ko
Sa timeline ya sa twitter
"Dinner with my wife"

Masakit pala
Hindi ko akalain
Pero masakit


Bakit pa ako
Tumitingin kung san
Hay ayan tuloy...

Alam Mo Yung Feeling Na...

Mahal mo, lumayo ka, mahal ka pala.
Mahal ka., manhid ka naman.
Okay na, sinaktan mo pa.
Naghiwalay kayo, biglang gumwapo.
Mahal mo na, ayaw na niya.
Mahal ka naman, takot ka lang.
Ready ka na, iba na ang mahal niya.
Masyadong pakipot, umayaw tuloy.
Masyadong torpe, nakuha na ng iba.

On Pasko

Nagpunta ko sa grocery
Para bumili ng tinapay
At narinig ko "Rudolf the red nose reindeer"

Naaamoy mo ba yun?
(sniff) Ano?
Pasko na!


Nakaka-miss ang Pinas!

On Micro Manager

wala kang kwenta. ang alam mo lang ang mag-generate ng statistics. subukan mo kaya mag test at tingnan natin kung makailan ka.

ktnx bye.

Words of Wisdom from Lola

How can one remain enthustiastic with a 10 hour Monday to Friday and 8 hour Saturday work schedule? It would be bearable if there is no naggy micro manager who cares more on the numbers than the quality. Things should be lighter with additional resources but workload has not changed at all. Obviously there is an issue. 

Having said that, what do I gain if I extend for another month? Yes, it will look good at my resume. I will be able to save more. There will be a sense of fulfillment at the end of the day. But is it worth it?

In as much as I would like to stay at the back if mind it is telling me otherwise. i remember what lola said before... Take care of yourself first so that you can do all the things that you need to do. 

With that I rest my case. Bring me home as stated in the ticket. It is time to take care of my knee. 

On Tupperware

If someone informs you of a plan, it does not mean that you need to do it. I am a decent person and relayed you the message. You do not need to give me that tone. You do not need give me that attitude. I would be more than happy if you do not tag along.

Fact: Some people are really stupid and use lame excuses. They maybe insane, but I cannot blame them. May mga Tupperware lang talaga sa mundo.

On Onshore

Mahirap pala
Hindi nakakatuwa
Uwi na ako

:(

On Fork

Doubtful about life

Emotionally stressed out

Badly need advice

On How Many

How many a man has thrown up his hands at a time when a little more effort, a little more patience would have achieved success?

On Extension

My extension will end on the 30th of this month. A small part of me wants to stay and see my project go-live but a huge part of me desires to leave and take on another challenge. What is the right thing to do?

I only see two positive things if I extend until mid-October. First is that I will make my home company happy for they will still earn from me cause I gave in to their "suggestion" to finish the project wherein I am the only tester. Second, it will somewhat solve the resource issue.

Then again, based on how things are going there is no assurance that my project will go-live by mid-October. This may lead my home company to sweet talk me again on extending. Being assigned to a company which does not have a strong IT foundation hampers my career growth.

Personally, I would love to be a bench model. Time to relax and re-tool. More time to attend on my personal matters.

Is this the right path to take?

On Bastos

Kumain kami sa TBoy kaninang lunch. Dumating ang waitress sa mesa namin dala ang isa sa mga order namin. Habang binababa na ya yung order naming "One crunchy..." bigla nalang siya nabangga ng isang lalake sa likod. Naitulak ya ang mesa at naibagsak yung order namin. Lumingon lang yung lalakeng nakabangga at umalis. Hindi man lang nag-sorry. What's up world? Hindi ko napigilan ang aking sarili at napa-bigkas ako ng, "kay lalake mong tao, hindi ka man lang gentleman!" Wala lang. Deadma lang yung bastos na lalaki at tuloy tuloy na lumabas sa restaurant. Apparently, the guy was K0r3@n. No wonder. Case close.

On Hobby

If you do something regularly it would be difficult to get out of it especially if it is something you have invested on and is already a huge part of your life. I started to engage in sports at an early age. I first picked up a basketball when I was at Kinder. During summer vacations, I would play patintero, cops and robbers, monkey-monkey and the like with my cousins and neighbors. My parents also enrolled me at swimming classes when I was seven. During grade school, I ate lunch under a tree at the driveway. After 20 minutes, I was up and about and played patintero, land-water-air, 10-20 or relay. Dismissal was time for badminton and shooting some baskets.

At grade 6 I became a member of the basketball varsity until I graduated highschool. When I entered college, I had every intention to stop and concentrate on my studies but someone approached me and asked me to play and I did. I had a short break when I got employed and picked up a badminton racket once a week to keep fit. But I eventually got back to basketball with my fellow addicts. Iba na talaga pag first love.

Come 2009 I was introduced to my second love – Ultimate. Mondays weren't that blue and Wednesdays weren't camel-like anymore because I had something to look forward after work on non-basketball days. Clearly, my life evolved around sports.

Over the past two weeks I stopped my urge to engage in sports. I choose to distance myself with my teammates so I won't get jealous. Then again, who am I kidding? My mind is in tuned with what's happening to my teams.

My officemate asked me, other than sports, what do I do? I cannot seem to find an answer and reflected if I can a life without sports. I think would go insane. But I am still alive after two weeks. I guess one of these days I will learn to accept a routine without sports. I just need to pick up another hobby.

Any suggestions?

Para Sa Iba

The moment I landed I knew there was something wrong. But the competitor in me kept going and finished the game. Despite the pain in my knee (I forbid to call it an injury), I finished the remaining games of summer league and continued to play in another tournament in which I never missed a practice and game.

If logic should take into play, I should have an "injury timeout". Everyone is telling me to have a break and that I am punishing my body. But I promised myself once a upon a time that I will continue to engage in sports as long as my body can.

I got in night league. Many were not fortunate enough to make the cut. Is this a sign for a last hurrah before having a break? But I am having second thoughts. I know that if I do, I would be pushing my body to the limit once again. This would be a great opportunity to test how far I can go.

I know that I am not 100%. I cannot sprint nor leap. But as they say, "laging mayroong paraan kapag gugustuhin". I can still run and jump. Despite my current physical condition, I was able to give end zone assists and catch the disc. The question is, will I be contented with this mediocre performance?

Nakaka-frustrate! Kaso gaanon talaga. Weak ako! Ang maganda sa ngayon, tanggap ko nang mahina na ako. Pero nagpapalakas na ako para sa iba.

On ...

"hopefully start dating this girl as well haha... hope so, it's sorta headed that way but i'm not entirely sure

On Keeping It In

In as much as I would love to let it all out... I can not. I must remain calm at keep my emotions at checked. I have bursted out a number of times and it was not a pretty sight. I do not want a repeat of those instances so I must keep it in.

Then again, how could I keep it in? It seems like a tug of war between what is supposedly good and what I love. Indeed it is a tough situation. However, I must really control my urge and keep whatever this is to myself for hopefully a brighter tomorrow.

On Flexi

I miss the times when I had the luxury to do other things other than work. The times when I don't have to be at the office by 9 on the dot. Instances when I could meet up with friends over lunch. Times when I could sneak out and have a massage or go to rehab.

Today I kinda experienced that feeling all over again. I got in work a shade past 9 and then left at around 4. Afterwards I passed by my ortho to hear the obvious. Then I went to the coffee shop to use the CC receipt and pampered myself in a spa. Then I capped my day with dinner with my folks.

Kung pwede Lang flexi araw araw.

Good luck nalang mamaya sa trabaho!

On How

How do I start again, if just by one step away from you, you already pulled me two steps back into your world?

Tell me.
How?

On Size

I know I am not gifted. But, of course, being the "hey notice me" person that you are you had to tell it right at my face with a loud voice for the whole world to hear. Yeah... yeah... ikaw na ang mayroong malaking hinaharap. At ako si I must I must increase my bust!

No worries, I am happy with what I have. I have accepted it a long time ago. It is convenient, I can get away without wearing a bra. Kidding aside, I would not look cheap wearing those revealing low neckline clothes which you love to wear, cause there is nothing to reveal in the first place. Despite my torn ligament, I believe I will have the same pace as you cause I do not have have additional weight to worry about. Also, when I get old it will stay in place.

So please stop flaunting, cause seriously, there is nothing to flaunt about. You do not have it.

On Complicated

Friends but not lovers.
Lovers but not committed.
Committed but not official.

That's.. what you call, Complicated!

On Nightmare

I have been going through sleepless nights. And if ever I do get the opportunity to get some "sleep" I make the most out of it wishing when I wake up the pain would not be there anymore. Sadly the first few steps are always dreadful.

This is the reality and the reality is freaking me out. I cannot begin to think how life is without two of the things that keep me sane. As a “trying hard” athlete this is a nightmare.

I placed myself in this situation so what else can I do but suck it up. I am only a “trying hard” athlete and not a professional. Is this a sign for me to explore life outside the sports scene? Then again,this is just on horrible nightmare that will eventually pass.

On Long Weekend

Quality time with
myself, family and friends
through land travel for great food!

Long weekend please extend.

:|

Lakas ng loob.
Malalampasan din 'to.
Kuya Jess, please help.

:|

On Kinakabahan

Hoping for the best
But cant help not to freak out
Jess, Your will be done.

On MRI

Laid on the hard "bed"
Stood up for a CR break
Liquids out, Inhaled

Laid on the hard "bed"
Headphones on to mask the noise
Positioned leg left

Slowly I went up
Inside the machine I go
Hola, MRI

The soothing music
Was drowned by the random sounds
Keep still, Katitay

30 minutes passed
Movement out from the machine
That was it, pansit

Results please be kind.

On Championships

When will my time come?

On Facebook Status

You were my high school infatuation. If I remember correctly we got introduced through common friends. My barkada which was composed of all girls was the counterpart of your barkada which was obviously all boys. Come Prom, I opted to ask you to escort me instead of the obvious choice. You gladly said “YES”, and you in turn asked me to accompany you in your Prom as well. Of course I was kilig to the bones.

After the unexpected event two months ago there was no follow-up. I took the initiative but you did not take the opportunity. Thus I decided not to pursue further. Lo and behold, you started the communication -- cause you needed something. Naturally, as a friend, I directed you to the right path and you were grateful. For me that is enough.

Then again, how come I felt something when my friend mentioned that you are always some girl who is your significant other? I know you are into flings, so I guess that is just one of them cause per FB, you are still single. But, how reliable is that relationship status anyway?

On Headlights

Stupidity strikes once again.

Pa-uwi na ako galing Ultra. Kakaliko ko lang sa San Miguel Ave. galing Julia Vargas tapos mayroong enforcer na sumesenyas na tumabi. Nung papalapit na ako tsaka ko na-realize na ako nga talaga ang pinapatabi kasi wala ng ibang sasakyan sa likod ko. Oh noes.

Enforcer: Ma'am according to article blah blah, section blah blah, bawal po na walang headlights.
Me: *checks* Ahh, wala po ba akong headlights?
Enforcer: Malayo palang kitang kita na walang headlights.
Me: *opens headlights* Oo, nga noh.
Enforcer: Naku Ma'am, kailngan ko makita ang lisensya yo.
Me: Talaga? E asa likod e.
Enforcer: Ma'am pakita po.
Sister: Baka naman po pwedeng warning lang? New driver kasi.
Enforcer: Lisensya po Ma'am.
Me: *gets out to get license*
Enforcer: Ma'am saan po ba kayo galing?
Me: Ultra
Enforcer: Naku Ma'am ang layo yo na pala, buti kung sa parking lang.
Me: Hindi ko po napansin. Maliwanag po kasi dito.

Pagpasok ko uli sa coche wala yung enforcer.
Me to sister: What if i-go ko na ito?
Sister: ATEEEE!

Dumating yung enforcer.
Enforcer: Ma'am lisensya po.
Me: *gives license* So kuya ano po bang patakaran sa no headlights?
Enforcer: Ma'am, may dalawang options po kayo.
Me: Ano po iyon?
Enforcer: Kukunin ko ang lisensya yo at bibigyan ko kayo ng temporary. Tapos kukunin yo sa Pasig.
Me: Ahh, ganoon ba? Hindi ko kasi talaga napansin. First time ko lang kasi hawakan tong coche.
Enforcer: Opo Ma'am, baka mahassle kayo kasi 5-working days yun e.
Me: Pero kung yun ang patakaran, e di ganun.
Enforcer: Ma'am baka magulat kayo kasi kelangan pang tubusin.
Me: E, pasensya po, kung yun naman po ang patakaran.
Enforcer: Ma'am may 2 options po tayo...
Me: Ano po iyon? Kung yun yung sa patakaran, e di ganun.
Enforcer: Ma'am, sigurado po kayo?
Me: Pasensya po Sir, alam ko na mali ako...
Enforcer: Ma'am, inuulit ko po, may 2 options po tayo....
Me: Pero ayan na oh, nakabukas na. Baka ok na?
Enforcer: May 2 options po tayo, delikado kasi yung walang headlights.
Me: Kung yun nga po ang sa patakaran...pero ok na siguro ngayon nakabukas na oh...
Enforcer: Sige Ma'am, next time po siguraduhin yong bukas ang headlights yo, cause kasi yan ng accidents.
Enforcer: *hands me my license*
Me: Salamat po.

On Second Opinion

Today marks the second month of the eventful day when I landed on both of my folded knees. The pain is not that grave anymore. I can run, but I cannot sprint. I can jump, but I cannot leap. Since it has been THAT long and the pain has not completely subsided, I decided to get a second opinion.

Ortho did not look at my x-ray. He just looked at the reading, asked me questions regarding what happened, pinched my knee and moved my leg like a puppet. Based from that he concluded that I have ACL. He looked so sure about it. Parang wala lang, ACL yan. Taena!

After my consultation with Ortho, I was endorsed to the Rehab doctor. Rehab doctor read the "letter" from Ortho and basically asked the same questions. This time around Rehab checked the x-ray. Then she created a physical therapy plan for my left knee and tight quads/hams. Hello to another 6 sessions of PT! But take note that ACL related exercises/activities were not included in the plan.

Oh well towel. Results of the MRI on August 23 will have the answer. I wish and pray that this is just a nuisance alarm. A wake up call not to overwork my body. No, I would like to think that this is just a wake up call to be more diligent in taking care of my body and to take time for strengthening and flexibility.

Kuya Jess isinusuko ko na po ang lahat sa Inyo.
Kayo na po ang bahala sa akin.
Salamat.

On First Love

I will always remember my first love. Our first meeting was a bit awkward. The circumstances were not within the norms. My parents, especially my mom, raised an eyebrow. However, as I spent more time with you I became comfortable and slowly got attracted. Moments with you soon became pleasurable almost like an addiction.

We had a long journey filled with more downs than ups. Hearts were crushed. In the process I became stronger as I rose after each and every failure.

An experience of passionate love is truly indescribable. During the time we were apart, I have met others. But even so, it is undeniable that there is still SOMETHING that will linger between us. You will always be a part of me cause somehow you have influenced the person that I am today.

A first love is indeed unforgettable.

On Moving On

I realized that trying to move on is useless. It is difficult. As long as there is still something lingering there is a possibility that I would fail. Whenever I deny the pain I would just fool myself and risk my well-being.

Thank you that when I opened my eyes I felt calm and relaxed. The pain is still there but not that intense anymore. Then and there I knew that the turmoil is almost over.

Here we go again! Baby steps... :)

On Long Term

Am I ready for a long term commitment?
How would life be if my time with the things I enjoy are compromised?
Would I still be sane?

Do the pros weigh heavier than the cons?
Am I willing to sacrifice temporary pleasure for long term goals?
Am I ready to take that huge step to be that person?

Abangan...

On Lines

I lined up patiently for my turn. When my turn finally arrived, I made the most out of it. I desperately tried to wash out the dirt which accumulated after I rolled like a pig on the muddy field countless times. What can I do if I am resourceful enough and was able to start shampooing before it was my turn? Skillful enough to get soap and stay a little longer to help another teammate who was next in line?

To the dakdakeras, if you want to wash up, I suggest that you line up patiently and wait for your turn rather than blabbing your mouth.

Thank you.

On Crush

It feels good to smile for "no apparent reason". It definitely adds color to the monotone life. There may be no certainty, yet the thought is very much welcomed.

So I ask myself, why am I still single? Is it really by choice or rather lack of choices? Do I need to be more presentable aka kikay? Should I keep my thoughts inside the thought bubble?

But this is what I am sure of, it does not follow just because someone is single the person does not know a thing about love. In reality, going solo is wiser than being in a relationship at the wrong time.

Note to self. Patience. Ang TNC ay masaya kahit na single. :)

On Monday

Tomorrow is another Monday - the start of another work week. Not only that, tomorrow also marks the beginning of another month. And yes, a new month equates to a new set of leaves gained.

After the 3 wet and wild games it is very tempting not to go to work. The Lazy Song keeps playing in my head. Argh. This is not right. Discipline will conquer.

Monday please be kind.

On Lack of Social Skills

I had a hunch that he would be there since he confirmed his attendance in the FB event. But who would have thought that I would sit across him? Naturally I said "Hello" matched with a wave. I didn't know what else to say. Alangan naman sabihin ko na "I crush you! <3".

He just silently sat right across me. I wanted to start a conversation but I didn't know what topic. Eventually he addressed me but I was tongue tied and only managed to utter "YES".  Ang eye candy kasi ya e. 

After soup and salad, a "new comer" arrived. It was then I realized that we weren't introduced formally. Whoops at medyo main course na kami. 

Social skills where are you when I need you?

On Throws

If it works, why fix it?

The essential thing is to reach point B from point A. It may not be the best of the best deliveries, but I have been successful... a couple of times.

Case A:
The single point against a top team was a fruit of my assist and of course the dive of my teammate after the opponent deflected the disc.

Case B:
I have been kinda successful during begnite, minus the direct low passes that got deflected.

Self, do not be hard headed. Time to go back to basics for fundamentals is the key. No more tamad throws. Hello to lounge level throws. Hopefully confidence will follow.

On Late

Monday I came in at 9:10. I think I still had a hang-over from the weekend road trip. Tuesday I got in at 9:45 due to Juaning. I still did not learn my lesson. I got caught in traffic at bed and I got in at 9:15 today.

Daddy is not around for a month. But that should not give me the luxury to come in work late. If my colleague can come in at 7am daily, why can't I?

Kuya Jess, please give me the character to get me out of bed. Commitment to move me to action. Discipline to enable me to follow through.

On Something and Nothing

It does not follow that there is really something if a handful of people say they see and feel something. The eyes may deceive and make actions appear otherwise. The brain thinks it sees something thus it processes this cognitive thought that they feel something.

Ika nga ni Bob Ong, “Hindi porke't madalas mong ka-chat, kausap sa telepono, kasama sa mga lakad o ka-text ng wantusawa eh may gusto sayo at magkakatuluyan kayo. Meron lang talagang mga taong sadyang friendly, sweet, flirt, malandi, pa-fall o paasa.”

If there is really something then something should have transpired. So what is this entry for if there is really nothing?

On Team Sport

I was immersed in sports at a very young age. During summer, I used to play those kiddies running games aka monkey monkey, shake shake shampoo, etc. with my cousins from my mom's side and neighbors. During Sunday lunch with my dad's side, I was the saling pusa when my cousins played ball at the garden. At school, lunch was reserved for patintero or 10-20 and dismissal was for badminton, kickball, table tennis, shooting or whatever game we came up with. Come grade 6, I was asked to join the basketball varsity. Basketball has been a huge part of my life until I graduated high school. Come college I planned to concentrate on my studies but things did not turn out as planned. I was recruited during Fresh Start and played the whole 4 years. When I started to work, there was badminton Mondays. Yet I still felt sluggish. I felt that my concern was heard. One of my college teammates YM-ed me and asked if I was interested to join their competitive team. As if basketball was not enough and I entertained Ultimate.

In the numerous games, tournaments, leagues or whatever you call those, I only experienced one championship. But this hasn't stopped me from playing and giving my all in each instance. I guess I would not stop until my body cannot take it anymore.

Fact: In every team sport there will always be a winning team and a losing team. I always strive to be part of the winning team. How about you?

On Cases

Case A:
He was the favorite. The outstanding student, pure gentleman and perfect friend. But I had other concerns at that point in time. I guess that was really the Ultimate's will cause eventually he had to migrate. Now, he is busy helping and saving people as a career. On top of that, he is finishing his graduate studies. I guess work and school take most of his time that is why he is still single. Despite that, he still finds time to keep in touch and take care of his 300 like physique.

Case B:
He is the best friend of the boyfriend of my close friend. An artist and a writer. He is kinda small so I guess that explains his huge ego. Don't know his current state at present but we are civil.

Case C:
He was a gag that turned into a reality. A board passer (after the second try) and a Technology Support Engineer by profession. Currently in a relationship per FB. Guess he is still bitter and chooses to ignore me.

Case D:
He was the source of entertainment. The class clown, MJ performer and bisyo king but a softy deep under. It took him a sabbatical to put things in perspective and eventually graduate IE. He is a Business Development Manager and pursuing his masters in Applied Economics on the side. And guess what? My fellow tarsier is happily married.

Case E:
He is a certified player. Once part of the football national team. So fast so furious like a horse not only on the field but also with his relationships which is not ideal. Still a fitness buff as a personal trainer and an entrepreneur helping out in his family business. A father and soon to be husband.

Case ME:
E ako, asan na ako sa mundong ito?

On Monthsary

Dear Ultimate,

Today marks a month when I used both of my knees as feet. A month has passed and yet I am not yet 100%. It is killing me especially I am someone who uses sports as refuge from all the “kaguluhan” in this world.

Sports is the only thing that moves me. Despite panic Mondays, Wednesday midweek humps and Friday weekend modes I find the motivation to get up and go to the office because at the back of my mind there is Ultimate waiting for me. Thirsty Tuesday is a treat as well because of the sweat that comes with Basketball. During weekends instead of sleeping in and letting the day pass by I get up earlier than workdays at my own will.

I have learned my lesson. I should not overwork my body because I am not as young as I used to be. I should take care of my body --- eat well and sleep early. More importantly, I should choose my battles carefully and slow down from sports. I should show how much I appreciate my family and the simple things in life.

I know that I am a fairly patient person. But, when will the day come when I won't feel any pain? I think I am losing it. Please give me the strength to continue living with purpose and enthusiasm.

On Post Game

"The ultimate victory in competition is derived from the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have done your best and that you have gotten the most of what you had to give." - Howard Cosell

I feel miserable knowing that if I was 100% I would have performed better --- I would have scored 2 more goals, I would have prevented an in cut and eventually cause a TO, I would have rattled the handler, etc. But on the lighter side, I know deep down I did all that I can considering my physical condition. So in a way I am happy.

Bawi nalang sa Saturday!

On Conditionally Cleared

After two weeks, my ortho and rehab doctors conditionally cleared me with great hesitation. Obviously napilitan lang sila because I did not pass the duck walk challenge. Also they would not know if I play or not and as if they can stop me from playing. They just told me to expect that I will feel pain afterwards. If the pain is different I need to go back instantly.

I know that pushing myself would put myself in greater danger. But this is a risk I am willing to take. Risks need to be taken to discover how far I can go. It is better to take the risk because whatever the outcome maybe I can accept (eventually) rather than failing to try and thinking what could have been.

As they say... Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.

Fight!

On Things to Do When Bored

1. Go to the pantry and grab something to drink and eat.
2. Go to the CR and splash face with water.
3. Do desk exercises/stretching.

If these 3 fail, get out and walk to the nearby establishments. :)

On Puzzles

Since I could not engage in physical activities for x number of weeks I turned to brain activity. I got this 1000 pieces jigsaw puzzle. Positive thinking, at least my motor skills and hand-eye coordination are put to the test. In addition, it helps keep my mind active and alert.

I believed it is serving its purpose because instead of sulking that I cannot do two things that I love I am preoccupied at putting the right pieces at the right places. Hopefully this jigsaw puzzle is not the only thing that I could complete. I wish in the future I could fix my life and put things in the right perspective so that I could honestly say I am really complete.

On The Unexpected

My phone was inside the left front pocket of my jeans. While I was walking it vibrated. I ignored it because I thought it was a text message. However, it vibrated again and again. Thus, I fished it out from my pocket and the unexpected happened when I saw the caller id. I held my breath as my heart suddenly skipped a beat. Unexpectedly, the ghost made his presence felt. Once again he brought chills to my spine aka kilig.

Indeed the best things in life are unexpected - because there were no expectations.

:)

On Rain

It has been continuously raining the whole day. I do love the rain. When I was a kid I used to make those paper boats and place them on the flowing water and watch them drift away. Baha na pala! Lol.

The the waterfall (para magka-grass man lang ang fields) and the cool breeze that the rain brings is appreciated. As long as it is not too much to cause floods. Since floods cause traffic which then results to a 1.5 hour travel time from work. :|

Life is just like the weather. One minute it's so sunny and cheery, then it will be rainy and gloomy.

On Titles

I just got off from the phone with an co-worker/friend who has been assigned onsite for the longest time. After our "how are you's?" this conversation happened:

Her: Uy, parang masaya ka ahh. May boyfriend ka na noh?
Me: *silence*
Her: Di nga, sino?
Me: You do not need to be in a relationship to be happy.
Her: Oo nga, actually naisip ko din yan na pwede naman maging masaya... pero di nga, may boyfriend ka na noh!!!
Me: Single and in a relationship are just titles. Your heart determines your true relationship status.
Her: Hahahaha, so ano na?
Me: Alam mo... good relationships dont just happen, they take time, patience and two people who truly want to be together.
Her: So sino?
Me: Ano ba 'tong mga friends ko, bat puro tungkol sa relationships ang pinopost nila sa wall nila.
Her: Sira! Akala ko naman sinasagot mo yung mga tanong ko!!!

On the Perfect Catch

You had your opportunity but you were not courageous enough to take the chance. The moments we spent with each other and whatever transpired or not is between us alone. Those were certainly good and exciting times. Those memories which I have placed in a tiny box and stored in a shelf deep in my heart. Somewhere down there only to be dig up when needed.

Now as you are about to journey to another chapter of your life, if I may ask... if you cannot forget the one that got away, can you love the One you are with?

Just do your jealous fiance a favor and don't go fishing after me cause I know I am still the perfect catch.

On Father's Day

You are my ally
Me and you in tandem
Versus the other ladies

When I'm feeling down
You know how to make smile
No words can express

I am your daughter
Thank you dad for having me.
I love you so much.

On PFPS, MPS & Plantar Fasciitis

Apparently my bruised knees aren't my only "problem". The uncomfortable feeling that I experienced whenever I take my first few steps in the morning had a deeper meaning. The tight muscles and stiff joints after Ultimate and Basketball was not simply due to exhaustion. There is a scientific/medical explanation for the pain.

Say hello to Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome (PFPS), Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS) and Plantar Fasciitis. What are those? All I know that the first two are related to the knees. Basically, it is the discomfort I feel in my knees because there are two bones that rub each other or something. In addition, there is this muscle or tissue that is weak. As for Plantar Fasciitis, it is related to the feet. It is either I'm flat footed or have falling arches.

Sadly, there is no direction solution for this. However, there are many things I can do to address the so-called problems. Ice is my new bff. Hello to 2 hours rehab and home exercises. On the lighter side, I can play. I just do not know what kind of pain or what-so-ever I will feel afterwards. Well, time to choose my battles carefully.

Fight!

Ang Multo

Mabuti pa ang multo nagpaparamdam.
Eh ikaw?
Kamusta ka na? :3

On Malnourished

Miss, do you feel superior when you speak ill of others? Just because you have a bulge at your stomach does not give you the right to say that I'm malnourished. During my last year in college the sports director said that I was fat for a thin girl when he pinched my back using this caliper thing. Yes that may be half a decade ago but I'm still kinda active in sports. My frame may appear as such but based on the recent ape I am normal. I just don't know in your case. Then again you may have developed some abs from your continuous coughing. 

On Wondering

How I wish the weekend was longer. As usual, the weekend is bitin again :( Today could have been a long weekend if PNoy wasn't the president. Hmm, what has PNoy contributed the PI anyways?

Obviously this rant is due to Monday blues. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that I have a decent job that pays fairly well. But at times I wonder when the day would come when I would need work because I want to, rather than want work because I need to.

Is it time to abandon ship and risk a career change?

On Knee Strain and Enfussion

I am thankful that the initial reading was only a knee strain and t/c enfussion. I just need to rest for 3 days. If the pain does not go away in a week then I need to visit the ortho and have it checked. Is this the Ultimate's way of telling me to have a break?

I felt bad that I wasn't able to play. I felt that I left my team hanging. But when I saw them in their 2nd game, the heavy feeling subsided. I saw the improvement in the team from an "outsider's" perpective. In a way, each member knew their role and took the initiave to perform the best that they can do. There were lapses or what so, but the other members were there to try help out. Hopefully the delivery of those messages would be done in a better manner and not appear as "mga tao na galing sa kalye".

On the lighter side, my current situation really opened my eyes to see how much my parents care for me. Most often than not I feel that they favor my younger siblings and kuya over me. I feel neglected (pero baka kulang lang ako sa pansin). I guess they do that because my other siblings need the care and attention more than I do. But whenever my time comes I am assured that there will be there for me as well.

So for now, quality time with family and friends muna. Sana di ako lumobo at hindi mawala ang endurance/stamina/etc.

On Tanga Lang

It hurts. The sad part is it is my fault. I pushed my self to my limit. It was only a practice game but the competitor in me didnt take it easy. Instead, I gave my all. Legs were tired yet I ran after a fastbreak. I jumped but there was no lift and i crashed on my knees. I felt the pain instantly but I still picked myself up and played on the rest of the 2nd quarter.

Id like to think it's not that bad cause I was still able to swipe the ball but I couldnt run full speed anymore. I'd get the ball but I couldnt go and start a fastbreak. I couldnt change directions. I couldn't change speed. However, played on and finished the game with old school 3 points ahead.

I don't know what this is. :& the pain I can manage but the thought that I can't play indefinitely brings tears. Ang tanga tanga ko!

On Reality

Time to face the truth
This is the reality
Wake up and move on

"Nobody wants to hear this but sometimes, the person you want the most; is the person that you're better off without."

On Another Lost

Another lost equates to a new set of learning experiences. It is furstrating cause I really really to the nth level tried and gave my very best. Apparently, my best was not good enough. It hurts.

I guess in order to succeed I must fail so I may know what to do and what not to do the next time. Numerous questions are constantly running through my mind wherever I am. Things I should have done. Things I should work on. Things I should do to help elevate the game of my teammates. Things I should have said to at least inspire and keep the morale high. The list goes own. Am I an adik?

Oh well, what am I to do? Wala na. Tapos na yung game... yun na yun. Now is not the time to stop. I need to continue to fight and be strong despite the countless setbacks. These hurdles should not stop me. Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Hopefully I find the strength to always keep my head up.

Fighting spirit I need you!

On Anniversaries

An anniversary is a day of the year on which something once happened is remembered. It is something to look forward too. It is a day of celebration commemorating such a date like birthdays, wedding anniversaries, etc.

Never expected that an anniversary could also be a sad one. This type of anniversary is something I do not look forward to - ever. Today marks that kind of anniversary. I miss your calls during my birthdays and how you always prepared spag/pansit for me even if I am at Luzon and you are at at the Visayas region. I miss you. Period.

Even if you are living your other life, you will always be with me. But right now, I need to move on and be brave. No more weeping at your grave. Yes, you are no longer here, but my memories of you will never disappear.

I love you Lola.

On 2 Years

Two years and counting
June 1 2009
Was the date I fell in love

Some think I'm foolish
Cause I give U importance
And give U much time

Not a day has passed
Without U crossing my mind
I didnt think this'll last

I am not the best
Still have a lot to improve
And I'll work on it

It's not been easy
Many obstacles lingers
But that won't stop me

Nakakagigil!
U pushed me to my limits
Towards a purpose

With U I'm at peace
Hungry for more experiences
The sorrows and joys

This I'll assure U
Optimize and maximize
Each moment with U

Cheers to our 2 years!

On Attitude

Nothing can stop the person with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the person with the wrong mental attitude.

According to Mr. Webster, attitude is the way a person views something. It is the manner of thinking, feeling and acting that reveals one's disposition and opinion. Attitude plays an important role in sports. Athletes with a negative outlook will most likely have a not so good outcome compared to athletes with a positive outlook.

Attitude is how we perceive things. If we think we are going to lose even if the game has not started yet, then right there we have lost already. On the other hand, if we think we can take the opponent then at least there is confidence and we are a step closer to actually winning. Having a positive attitude is a habit. If we train with discipline then it will carry over to games. If we do things the right way then we will correctly master it. Then again, if we do things incorrectly many times then unconsciously mastering the wrong thing and it will be part of our system. Thus having the right attitude goes a long way. Even if we are not the most skilled team but we are really try our best and give our 100% plus effort then eventually we will improve.

Also, whenever we are in a bad situation, we should approach it in a positive way. We should always keep keep our heads up. If not, then the situation may become worse. On the other hand, if we approach the situation in positive way then somehow the light at the end of the end may be seen. If we hold onto a great attitude while we go through our present reality, we will be forming our next reality that is coming down the pipeline.

Ultimately, attitude is the key. Sadly, it is not something that can be thought or bought. Even if how much motivation or what so is planted in one's mind but the individual does not want to respond then there is nothing that can be done.

:(

On Ultimate Sport

Skills
It is a given that in every sport one must have skills. There are different skill levels but it is ideal to have a good foundation. So the questions are: What skills do I lack and need to work on? What skills do I currently possess and could improve on?

Physical Fitness
The fitter athlete has an advantage even if skill level is not the same. Nothing can replace physical fitness especially in long points/games. What do I need to increase my endurance, stamina, explosiveness, etc?

Opponents
It pays to know the opponent. As stated in the Art of War, It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle. What are the strengths and weaknesses of the opponent? How can I capitalize?

Resilience
The battle is not over until the time has elapsed or a team has reached a certain number of points. If none of those situations are met, the show must go on despite whatever the circumstances are. How can I continue to play and give it my all even if we are behind/tired? How can I not be affected whenever others are demoralized? How can I keep the good morale?

Team
Ultimate is a team sport. In team, Together Everyone Achieves More. What can I do to help the team? What is my role? Are my goals aligned with the goals of the team?

On Missing You

Almost a year already yet I dearly miss you. Things are not the same without you -- it feels incomplete. Toiletries and meals are not prepared upon arrival. Days are quiet -- void of your novena.

Am I greatly affected because I am your palangga? I doubt it since you equally love your apos just the same. You make it a point that everything is well taken care. You make it a point that we have all that we need so that we will enjoy our stay. You make it a point that we know what a family is. Ultimately, you make it a point that we feel loved.

I love you Lola. It was the first time I saw you at your resting place after our "goodbye". Though you are in a better place, you will always be in my thoughts and heart. The values and love that you have showed me will keep me going. Please do help us in good times and especially in hard times. I miss you Lola, but life goes on. Until we meet again up there.

On Feeling - -

I just didn't think someone like you could ever like someone like me.

Then again, ang feeling ko naman na isipin ito. LOL.

On Begnite

Meralco Begnite
The place to be on Mondays
Where it all started

First time raindrops fell
White top – obviously not smart
Hello rain or shine

Stood at the corner
Ignored the circumstances
The show must go on

Backhand and forehand
Suddenly called for scrimmage
Noob slipped and failed pass

Just picked myself up
Caught the disc at the end zone
Addiction began

On Real vs. Make Believe

What is real and what is make believe? Which is more powerful -- logic or imagination? To be in a state wherein the complication of logic and intellect vs. imagination and madness meet is mind boggling. Which should be given more value -- the mind or the heart?

Logic is based on facts -- stuff that are researched. However, there are instances when the intellect cannot come up with any decent explanation. This is when madness enters as we begin to think with our imagination.

It all starts in belief. Without it, we could not have attained what we thought was impossible. Thus, it takes a great imagination to dream. A dream to have a goal. A goal to motivate and the motivation to succeed!

So was THAT only an imagination or was THAT real?

On Being Foolish

Whenever I ask my teammates if they want to win the obvious answer I get is "yes". But how come I cannot see this "yes" in actions? Then again, who am I to judge. My passion and determination to win might be in a different level and it might be getting the best of me once again.

What am I to do? I am SO tired of losing. In my countless years involved in team sports I was never part of a team with a winning tradition. Most often, I belong to a team lacking in talent, experience and fundamentals. That is okay with me as long as there is heart and determination displayed in every practice and game.

This makes me think if I should continue to play competitively cause I am not sure if every single teammate of mine is in the same page as I am. Maybe I should just play for leisure to prevent further heartaches cause honestly it sucks big time. The difference between impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination and truth be told I do not see that in each of my teammates.

But, I am stupid. I am foolish. I cannot stop. Whenever I do not get the outcome I want it pushes me to try again. Try and try even if it hurts hoping that the next result will be the one I am yearning for. Is there something wrong with me?

As they say: Winners are not people who never fail, but people who never quit.

Kahit isang panalo (for now) lang please?
Tas isa pa ulit.. at...times infinity.

Itutuloy Mo Pa Ba?

Kung magmamahal ka, at alam mong iiwan ka lang niya, itutuloy mo pa ba?

Here is my take. The Ultimate created human beings in such a way wherein the brain is higher than the heart. I see it as a guide that I should use my mind rather my emotions in decision making.

Yes, I am rigid and stiff. At times I ask myself if I should live a little? But why risk getting my heart completely shattered if I am not certain that he is the One. Then again, I would not really know unless I take the plunge.

And I will never really know cause I did not take the risk. I did not go for it. So now I am still single for how many years and counting. It is unavoidable to have those "what ifs" thoughts yet I am happy to be single. Stress Is Now Gone Life is Easier! :)

On My 27th

On My 27th

Oh, how fast time flies
Today marks another year
In this planet

As I contemplate
How was my 27th
I have no answer

I went with the flow
No specific agenda
As long I'm happy

Fell in-love with life again
Journey to a better place
When one I'm at peace

On Semi Cool Off

I love you both equally. You guys are my motivation to get up each day. I always look forward to spending my time with you guys after work. It disappoints when something comes up and my time is consumed elsewhere rather having quality time you guys. So disappointed that I get guilty and feel that I need to make it up to you guys.

But I have to face reality. There are days when I have to call a rain check. Days wherein family, work and health interferes. I thought I had enough passion and energy to do the things that I enjoy and love. Yet, it is unfair for you if pagsabay ko kayo like what I am currently doing. One way or another schedules would overlap. My body cannot take it. Ultimately, I would not be able to perform as I expect from myself.

I need to make a decision. It is a tough one but I guess it is for the best. So... would it be okay if semi cool off muna tayo for two months? Semi cool off meaning that I will prioritize my first love for now. Sana okay lang at hindi ka magtampo. :/ I hope you would still accept me with arms wide open when I come back.

Kthnxbye.

On Monday Blues

Boo-hoo. Tomorrow is another Monday, which only means one thing -- back to regular programming. :|

Then again, how things will turn out pretty much depends on my actions. Monday is just another day. Another period in time which will eventually be over. Time passing does not have to be stressful, mysterious or whatsoever.

As Monday approaches it calls on me to make a decision, then goes on. It is the indecision that allows me to wake up one morning wondering what, when, where, who, why and how will Monday turn out.

Let's get it on!

On "Manly" Ambition

Bunso has been dropping hints on getting a long board for the longest time. Here is his latest attempt.

Bunso: Sayang naman ang , ano pa ang ginagawa nila.
Mom: Naku, hospital ang abot mo yan.
Bunso: Okay, gloves at helmet nalang para safety first.
Mom: Bike nalang.
Me: Ako, gusto ko ng bike. Gusto ko masubok mag-triathlon.
Mom: Ano ba yan, ang boyish ng pangarap mo.

Is finishing a triathlon a manly ambition? :(

On Single hood

Before I sleep I often catch myself contemplating on why am I still single. Are my standards too high? Am I looking at the right place cause maybe the One is just right there?

Then again, I don't think my standards are THAT high. Is someone with a decent occupation, pleasing values, good relationship with the Ultimate and great physique too much to ask for? Am I too serious? Okay, the last criteria may be negated – in short husband material.

On the other hand, maybe it is not the One, maybe it is Me. Me who is too preoccupied with work, basketball, ultimate, family and friends. Me who is not pleasing enough to catch someone's heart or even one's attention. Cause if the One is really out there then the chance should have presented itself by now.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy with my current situation. It is just there are instances when I feel alone. Case in point when mom told me, “Mag-bf ka na nga.”. But why should I rush? I believe I deserve the best the Ultimate has to offer so why would I settle for someone less than the best.

* Pero sana dumating ka na please para maging mas-happy.

On Perspective

In basketball, coach mentioned that I should take more attempts especially when I am free. I was open after the first pass and my teammate shouted "shot", so I took the attempt. Two more attempts from a play and an quickie sideline inbound. I also had another one from a looper from behind the backboard. Too bad for me and all of those tries did not go in. Thus, I am now tagged as "bwakaw" by some. On the other hand, if all those went in, even if it was a circus attempt then WOW, good basket!

Coach believes that I can make those baskets so I will play my role. Despite all those side comments, I will continue to take those attempts. If I don't take the risk then how would I know if my attempt will go in or not. It is better to take those attempts rather commit turnover. Of course, I need to work on my shooting. Oh well, towel, natatawa nalang ako. :))

Mga Palusot sa Scrabble

I.
Anong NA?
do re mi fa sol NAAAAA ti do

II.
AH?!?
(with feelings) as in AHHHH!!!

III.
OZ?!?
As in ounce!

----
Played scrabble with my family. Even if my tandem did not reach 200 points and the other tandem kicked our butts, it was definitely priceless. Babawi kami! :))

On Love

No one
falls in love by choice,
it is by CHANCE.

No one
stays in love by chance,
it is by WORK.

And no one
falls out of love by chance,
it is by CHOICE.

BIL

Untitled

The knowledge that we belong to the same group did not prevent my heart from skipping a beat when I saw you at the "farewell dinner". The smile that playfully appeared on your face as you extended your right hand as you said, "Hi, I'm *insert name* ... made me giggle. The soft brush of your lips to my cheek made me tingle. And as I walked away I felt electricity transmit into my whole body.
----
This happens each time I see you. Shallow as it may sound, you do something to me that I can't explain. Open your eyes, mind and heart because I need you to look into mine.

On Sleepy

Eyes slowly closing
Siesta you are so tempting
How i wish I can

My body clock is whacked!

On RAG-B

To play and have fun
Such a wonderful feeling
I missed you RAG-B!

It feels good to play
When there is encouragement
From every teammate

TO or what may
Accept whatever happens
No blaming occurs

No hot angry heads
Only heads looking ahead
Also held up high

Pressure is lighter
Game is steady and relaxed
Confidence emits

We may be smaller
But heart is always present
There's no backing down

Untitled

I am so so tired
Don't know where to place myself
Relax or uptight?

Pagod na ako
Di alam san lulugar
Luwag o higpit?

Ultimate Frisbee,
You think I really love you?
Oh yes, yes I do!

Err, but as they say....
Oh easy come, easy go.
Please don't let me down...

On Trying to Overcome $+|2355

Vision is blurry
Things seem to move on it's own
What is the cause?

Is this due to stress?
But, what is stress anyway?
Is this real or fake?

Fatigue over work
I miss my A.I.D.S. petiks ways
Vacation calls me

Afraid to get hurt
Survival instincts kicks in
Either fight or flight.

Things I can't control
Worrying for no reason
Am I an addict?

No-no to breakdown
Why stress when I can enjoy?
Mind over matter

Oh, stress relievers
Ultimate plus basketball
Yey, work-life balance!

Please do your magic
Cause so-called stress is winning
Go fight fight! Aja!

On WPBL

Hmm, am I ready?
Can I handle the challenge?
And manage my time?

Argh! It's killing me!
Work, Ultimate, Basketball
Family et all.

Have no idea
Do not know our opponents
Don't know the details.

I just want to play
Cause ball is my first true love
And I can't leave it.

April 2's the day
The start of another league
Can I handle it?
----
Self, from this point on...
Focus and Prioritize
***, eyes on the prize.

Si Bunso Na

ME: Ma, look, may sugat ako.
*shows small scratch on left elbow*
MOM: Haaaay naku, kung ano-ano kasi ang pinaggagawa mo e?!?
ME: Palagay ng gamot.
*deadma si Mommy*
ME: Grabe, pag si *bunso* yan, halika dito, lagyan natin ng gamot, blah blah blah.
DAD: May kasama pang himas.
ME: Oo nga.
DAD: Ako matagal na masakit yung braso ko pero wala lang ni himas wala.
ME: Oo nga, si *bunso* meron pang, do you want milk? Tas bababa para gumawa ng milk tas ihatid pa.
MOM: Antok na ako. Sabay nga kami natulog nung 630pm ni *bunso*.

Tas sabay tayo sa kusina at umakyat.

:(

On March 28 Begnite

I guess I exerted to much effort. You know the feeling when your legs are SO tired and it just gives up? Well, that happened to me right in front of the bench of the opposite team. Wala lang, napatid lang ako sa sarili kong mga paa. :|

It was a frustrating night. I know it was just beginners night, but I don't like the feeling when the opponent ate my team alive. Even if the other team was composed of regular and league players, that should not stop us from playing with spirit. It is okay not to win, but at least show some heart. Nakakagigil, promise.

On a high note, I had a mala-airness point. Also, my defense was there. Deflected a yummy end zone attempt and a huck of the instructor to a huge guy. But karma acted fast and the instructor foiled my attempt for another Jordan-catch. Defense is truly the best offense.

On - - - -

Do you believe you can completely love me as I am?
Faith is not enough, you have to know it. Do you know it?
Sadly, knowing is not enough.
I have to see.

But they say love is blind. People tend to see what they only want to see. There are occasions when they lower their standards and accept people how they are. Right and wrong no longer exist because they think they are the only people in the world.

From the start I believed that there was no future. My head knows that it was not "moral". However, deep down there was still this tiny faith that there was a chance. Self-control and family values were constantly challenged. Then again, when everything was laid out, I couldn't see an US --- I saw YOU and HER even how much you tried to mask your feelings.

And so my instincts were right on target.
Congrats on your engagement! :|

On Left Heel

It’s painful, it hurts
Though I discount the feeling
The ache’s evident.

The physical hurt
I try to ignore each day
But to no avail.

When I resist it
Comes emotional distress
It’s unstoppable.

They say time heals wounds
But is time tried and tested?
What’s the assurance?

Give it a rest, self
Time to face reality
To genuinely heal.
-----

On Mind Games

There are instances when you don’t seem to notice me. Instances when you don’t make your presence felt. On the other hand, there are times when you contact me out of the bloom and say sweet nothings.

Why do you give me just enough attention? Is this to keep me interested but never seriously commit? Is this a strategy or tactic of some sort of yours to manipulate my so-called feelings?

Mind games are boggling. Are you sure you want to play this game? Cause if you do, it is already game over.

On Onshore

I met two foreigners in the tour I joined. One was from the US and the other was from Germany. The guy from US has been teaching English in Japan for 3.5 years and counting while the girl from Germany has taught German in Australia and at present she is touring around Asia. She stayed in Bali, Indonesia prior to going to SK. Sarap ng buhay nila!

Two thoughts entered my mind:
1. My brother has a future as a teacher contrary to what my mom believes.
2. I want to experience the "on-shore" life.

I guess I asked to soon and when I checked my office e-mail I got a "Congratulations" message from my QA manager:

She has been accepted in ********* and may fly soon to *insert country*.

It has been a long journey for ME (to be onshore) and it sure is satisfying to know she finally will fly!

*Who checks her office e-mail while on vacation?*

*gulp!*

Happy Happy Yippee Yey Yey

Shallow as it may sound but I am genuinely happy. :) It may be a material thing, but I really believe that I deserve it even if it is delayed. Patience is the key.

:)

On Losing

I do not take losing very lightly. Yes, it is a fact that the outcome may not go as planned. I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying. I dislike the feeling of dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment afterwards. It haunts me.

Clearly I am serious when it comes to Ultimate and Basketball. Too serious that I guess my passion gets in the way and my intensity gets the best of me. But then I again, it would be unfair to the sport if I do not go all out every single time may it be in practice or in an actual game. How would I except the sport to love me back if I held back? What is the sense of playing competitively?

Ultimate and Basketball are team sports. I am not taking it against anyone except myself, but I guess I just need to accept the fact not everyone shares the same seriousity that I possess to prevent future frustrations. Hopefully this will not stop me from pushing myself to achieve my full potential.

As they say: one should not stop trying to operate in excellence. I should keep in mind that no matter how discouraged I get I should still have DIGNITY. Therefore, I hope that even if it upsets me when things are not going as planned I can continue to push myself and not lose hope. Once I give up and lose hope, then it is already game over.

On Injury

Another conversation which transpired over lunch:

One of my officemates was not feeling well so we talked about our worst medical/health related experience.

OFFICEMATE 1: What was your worse sickness?
OFFICEMATE 2: I never got admitted to the hospital despite my migraine attacks and this amebiasis.
OFFICEMATE 1: Ako din, first time ko ma-hospital when I gave birth.
OFFICEMATE 1 looks at ME and asks
OFFICEMATE 1: Ikaw Kat, what was your worse sickness?
ME: HEARTACHE!

*laughter*

:))

On Marathon

Over lunch this conversation transpired:

ME: So, how was your weekend?
OFFICEMATE: Ayun, nag-marathon kami.
ME: Ahh talaga? Sumali kayo sa Unilab?
OFFICEMATE: Hindi, movie marathon.

*Toinks!* I think nasobrahan na ako sa physical activities.

Untitled

I hate this feeling
Would be good to verbalize
Don’t know where to start

Family matters
Basketball and Ultimate
Spiritual stuff

Throw in career
Relationships and what-nots
I am puzzled

Too many nonsense
Running in my common sense
It hurts my “headache”

Maybe a breather
An alone time with myself
Is all that I need

A break from the noise
To make sense of this nonsense
Flooding my so-called brain

Time to press escape
And get out of this jungle
In hope to find peace

So help me God.

$#@!~

On Schedule
Hindi sa may sarili akong schedule, wrong timing lang. Mali ba na unahin ang pamilya? For crying out loud, kasal yun ng kapatid ko! Ano gusto yo, unahin ko ang career bago ang pamilya? ASA!

On Flexi Time
Hindi sa maarte ako na hindi maka-adjust sa biglaan na OT o 24 hour shift, ang hinihingi ko lang e i-inform ako nang maayos. Lahat aware sa palit ng shift at ito ako nag-iisa sa dilim. Ano gusto yo, o-OO lang ako pagkakuha ng email ng Friday late afternoon para pumasok ng weekend?

On Own Time
Hindi sa may sarili akong oras, pero mag aantay lang ba ako habang panahon? Kung open lang sa mga plano-plano e di sana ako gumawa ng sariling mga plano. Ano papalampasin ko lang ba ang mga araw sa kakaantay?

On Choosy
Hindi sa choosy ako, pero kung magagawan ng paraan bakit naman hindi. Tatahimik lang ba ako kahit na hindi ako masaya sa kalagayan ko? Mali ba na i-voice out ang aking mga pangarap?

On Palakasan
Hindi ako friendly, pero kailangan ko bang sumipsip para mapansin? Ms. Career Climber, takot ka ba at baka matalbog ka? Isa pa, pasensya nalang ako at hindi ako ang gf ng linalandi mo, bakla!

On Stoked

Unknown sensations
Trickle in as I close in
This is it, pancit!

Hear the waves roaring
See the white water crashing
Excitement kicks in

Blood pumps through my veins
Adrenaline rush
This is the moment!

After many falls
Nth volume of water drank
That cannot stop me

After each wipeout
I pick myself up each time
To attempt again

Thanks, fighting spirit!
I finally got to ride!
This is what stoked is.

On Temptation

Everyone becomes serious when the cupid’s arrow hits them. However, not everyone is strong enough to avoid temptation. We have eyes to see and hands to touch the beauty around us. Is it bad to appreciate the Ultimate’s creation? I don’t think so; it is how we handle the situation that matters.

Now the question is how should we handle temptation if it is lurking around? We should be mature and responsible enough not to entertain these enticement. These temptations are mere moments of happiness. It is better to be incomplete than suffer eternal suffering. So we should cut it off before it is too late. When all is done, I bet it will be worth it.

Pagod

Do I need to give more effort?
Do I need to alot more commitment?
Do I need to sacrifice more?
Do I need to work my butt extra hard?
Do I need to be more responsible?

Ewan ko. Pagod na ako.

On Alcohol

Alcohol is perceived as something that can help out in difficult situations. It is the cure to relieve stress and anxiety. It is a source of courage and confidence. After a bottle/glass or two… three… four and so on, you tend to change your behavior. You have this feeling of well-being wherein you become talkative and relaxed. It is the time and opportunity in which you are able to blurt out whatever it is inside your head and heart for the world to hear.

On the negative side, due to alcohol speech may be slurred, coordination is impaired, visual attention is impaired, etc. These actions may be a cause of arguments. You tend to utter things not meant to be divulged. You tend to display actions not usually done. You tend to see unreal things.

So for the “alcoholics” out there, handle your alcohol properly. Yes, maybe all you need is alcohol to gain courage. However, always remember: alcohol should go straight to the belly and not take any kind of turns to the mind, heart or wherever.

On Day 3

Food for thought: you only fail once you stop trying.
----
I nearly lost hope
One point is what I yearned for
The bleeding won’t stop

So so desperate
Gave my ultimate effort
Pushed to the limits

So near yet so far
One pass and successful catch
Oh, butterfingers!

Frustration aroused
Upset on the missed chances
Heat and tempers clashed

Exhaustion kicked in
Things became more challenging
Another setback

Feel so dishearten
It hurts emotionally
But cant back down now

Please give me the strength
The confidence, heart and will
to fight and play on.

On Twitch

There's this little twitch
Whenever you are around
Heart pounds much louder

Just a glimpse of you
Day is already complete
Oh happy, joy.. joy..

Who am I kidding
Stupid infatuation
Where will this lead me?

Will it be worth it?
A moment of happiness
For the uncertain

Should I entertain
The vague possibilities
Or ignore this twitch?

On Weekend

Help, I cannot breath!
Impatiently just waiting
For my weekend off.

On Inspiration

Living zombie-like
Where art thou, Inspiration?
Don’t know what to do

Day in and day out
I go through the same movements
What am I to do?

Is it time for change?
Oh Inspiration, push me
To get up and move.

On Possibilities

Uncovered knowledge.
There're many things to explore
Where should I begin?

Know that I don't know
Things yet to be discovered
So whats first in line?

Oh, psychopathy!
Please don't get the best of me.
So good luck to me.

With or without sense
Many possibilities
Makes it exciting.

On Mixed Emotions

The outcomes of the two games were extremes. I am happy but sad. Fulfilled yet frustrated. I am happy that we finally got our first W for NY 2001 but sad because bokya kami the next game. I am fulfilled because somehow I saw the fruits of our hard work in practice, yet frustrated because we still have a lot to learn.

Indeed, day 2 was a roller coaster ride of sorts. The twists and turns were electrifying. The drop was a very high one that I haven’t recovered yet. As they say life is like a wheel, sometimes you are up and sometimes you are down.

When will I get out of this pit?

On Secret Infatuation

When I first met you
I was sort of attracted
But can't do a thing 

Seemed you liked someone
So I stayed in the background
Didn't do a thing

Shy to make a move
Maria Clara, I am
Admired from afar

Weeks, months, years gone by
But attraction is still there
What am I to do?

Should I express this 
Secret infatuation?
Or leave it as is?

Oh my, the so called bug has bitten. 

On Bwakaw

I perceive you as someone full of pride. Thus it caught me off guard when I found out that you somehow got affected. Affected to the point that you had to seek advice from someone with wisdom. I do not have any intentions to put you down. However, I will not apologize for my actions.

I hope you did not misinterpret my actions. If you are bwakaw or not, that is fine. It is not important. If that is your style then go for it. You are who you are and I accept it. Early in the careers of Magic, Bird, MJ and Kobe I bet they had their own share of "I think I can do it all" mentality. After their own share of disappointments, look at what they have achieved and I guess they would not have accomplished what they have without having that mentality and attitude.

My actions may have appeared negatively but I will not apologize for it. Why? Because I don't want
to hinder you from achieving your full potential and eventually greatness. All I can do is accept your nature and give you (tough) love and understanding. I hope your pride can accept that.

On February

Today marks the beginning of the second month of 2011. It is Christmas for couples and lovers and All Soul’s day for “TIIS” people. I do not understand what the hype is all about when you can go dine in a spectacular restaurant or give flowers/gifts on any day. Everyday can be hearts day. Why wait for February to do those stuff? The 14th to be exact! Imagine the volume of people in the eating place and skyrocket prices of the flowers. Ewww.


Hah, so who is bitter? February, please be good to me.

On DK

The early origins of DK began 1st quarter of 2010 when a group of beginners decided to form a team in order to join those PUA organized leagues. DK made its first appearance in the Summer League of the same year under pool C. It was quite an experience. The level of competition was way different compared to the other instances the individuals played in – Plastic Virgins, Nestea Fit, Heads Up, etc. In order words, DK went to school in Summer League. Despite DK’s noob exposure, the players did not lose hope and continued playing. Some inserted themselves in M&M and Spirits alongside other teams --- SLU, Paterrors, DUO, Warriors and RG.

Now DK is back together and is set to play in New Year League 2011. And guess what? DK is in Pool B2! I don’t know if that is supposed to be a compliment or if some politics were involved. Well whatever, bring it on. Our skill level may not be at par with the other teams in our bracket but what can we do? We can only push ourselves and give it our best starting in training and hopefully that good attitude will carry over to the games.

How would we know what we can and cannot do unless we try?

Ultimate!

Haiku 1

I dread going to work.
Each day is a huge struggle.
I am tired. Period.

Help! Go or no go?
Motivation, where are you?
Show up… pretty please!
---
Look at the bright side, so-called poetry came out. Lol.

On Another Medya Moment

I honestly do not know what is with me and socks but I tend to forget to bring a pair for basketball and/or ultimate. Having this knowledge in mind, I mentally prepare my socks when I fix my stuff for practice. I also double check if I do have socks when I am on my way to the venue. However, these are not enough.

Case One:
I got 2 pairs and placed it on top of my dresser so I can see them. I know I placed at least one pair in my bag. Come shoe time, I cannot seem to find my socks! I drastically searched inside my bag, but the other pair was nowhere to be found. Good thing I did not take out the socks I used 2 days ago. :|

Case Two:
I placed a pair in my bag. On the way to the venue I verified if I had it in there. It was there, but lo and behold when I unrolled the socks, there was only a SOCK! The partner was nowhere in sight. Luckily, my friend who earlier had her own medya moment got a pair from her friend looked inside her bag and found her 2 pairs. Safe!

On My Amnesia Girl

Ang true love ay para sa matatapang na tao lamang.
Duwag ako, at hindi siya matapang... kaya ito ako... at andun siya.


Ang utak pwedeng makalimot pero ang puso laging nakakaalala.
Kahit ilang oras, linggo, buwan at taon ng nakalipas, hindi parin nalilimutan.

On Logins

When I got back from a 2-week vacation I forgot my login. So I called TSD to have it reset. Apparently, there is a new process now. I had to ask a notification from anyone from HR to get a new password. Luckily, one person was already in at 9AM. I explained my case and she said she would get to it.

To pass time, I got water and read the verses for today. Fifteen minutes elapsed and I still did not get any feedback. So I played Collapse to pass time. After another 15 minutes, still no call. So I contacted TSD and asked if my request is good to go. Sadly, no notification was received. I asked how will I know if my login is okay? TSD said that they’ll just give me call. After another 15 minutes, I got a call asking if I logged my in helpdesk. Camon, how will I log it there if I do not have an access? In the end, after an hour I was able to log in.

Lesson: do not forget your login.

On Falling Inlove Again

You know that you are my first love and you will forever be a part of me. It is difficult not to think about you and what more when I decided to distance myself from you. However, that was a decision I had to make to become a better person.

We’ve been separated for half a year but here I am again, trying to make another come back. Yes, I am a comeback queen, but how could I resist you? You are a huge influence in my life. You have somewhat shaped who I am today. So, would you accept me willingly or would make me have a hard time?

And I wanna fall in love with you again
I don’t have to try, it’s so easy
Who needs to pretend?

How about you?