?

What am I still doing here?

haaay!

On Playing Games

A game is a competitive activity involving skill, chance, or endurance. A game is played by one or more persons usually to amuse oneself or entertain a group of spectators. A set of rules is followed to avoid chaos.

The corporate world is like a game. The work or lack of work is competitive. My ability to simulate I am busy even if there is not a single task on my plate is challenged. My luck to get shipped to another country is like winning the Lotto. My stamina to carry on in this environment is killing me. How much longer is acceptable to keep the show going?

God, help me survive this episode in my existence.

On the Worse Case Scenario

I like to think that I am a strong person. I expect the worse case scenario so when those instances become a reality it would not be as painful as it should be. No positive expectations so when good things come my way it will feel like heaven.

Is this a good attitude or a bad approach? Should I think of positive things instead of the negative stuff? Should I avoid all the negativity? Should I change my outlook?

What now? Is it the time to let go of all the negativity and concentrate on the positive things life has to bring? Would it hurt more if the opposite happens?

Oh well... Like what they say... thoughts become actions and actions will eventually become habits and realities.

Post Game Insights on Game 4

It was weird. They played zone but we could not seem to capitalize on it.We were there but somehow we lost it. We eventually got the lead but they got it back.
Another addition to the learning experience collection.

Lack of aggressiveness? I would not accept that. I know I did my all in defense. But still, another blank game. Indecisiveness. Attempts not going in. Think of passing. Interceptions. Bad decision making. Argh. Too much negativity.

I think I just have many things going on my mind. Or is it just that I am putting too much pressure on myself? I should just let the game come to me.

Or... should I stop this nonsense?

Are You Mocking Me?

I approached the MES (mystery email sender) and asked for a detailed information regarding the interesting matter that caught my attention. MES needed 4 people with my skills. It was for a long term project which means a year! As of now, MES had a lead and needs 4 engineers. Apparently my name showed up around 3 months ago. However, this person -- Cruella Devil -- whose only concern is to earn money blocked me off! Supposedly, my PRF was on the works. But lo and behold, my name showed up again!

Lets say I had a PRF, I should respect it daw. But how the hell could I respect something not really there? Where is this whatever PRF? Where is the evidence? And why did my name appeared? Apparently, Cruella skipped a step from the standard process. Great, right?

I had been billing to bench since I got rolled off from my previous project last May 30! I keyed as billable but the application did not want to accept. I told MES I will email her ASAP when I do not see my PRF.

And guess what? When I checked my email a couple of minutes ago, I saw my PRF! WTF!

Since I have a stupid PRF 'til August 2009, should I respect it? MES said in order to be rolled off I need to find a replacement. But hello, with the bulk of tasks coming in, I think 1 person can manage.

What is is? Joke time! Are you mocking me? I do not know anymore. Do you want me to stay or to take the leap of fate? Faith and trust nalang.

Work Related Trial

I had a conversation with my mom regarding my office related stuff during the ride to work. I mentioned that whatever Harry Potter offers me I think I should accept it since I greatly feel that they are willing to give me what I asked for. In addition, I heard that Harry Potter has good if not better benefits versus Horseshoe. Yes, feeling ako.

After our visit to embassy, the topic of our conversation continued over lunch. She advised me to approach CM and ask her if there is a possibility for me to travel in my current project. If none, I should request to be assigned to another project which has a huge chance for travel. I reacted that I might look aggressive. So she suggested that incase I bump into her that is when I bring up the topic.

Guess what? When I opened the door to her floor she passed by and made her way towards the bathroom! Was that a sign? Of course I did not follow her inside because that will be invading her personal time. After I did what I had to do on her floor I passed by her room. She was all alone but being me, I did not have the guts to approach her.

Anyway, I neglected those series of events. When I got back from the fitness chuva I checked my email incase they sent tasks while I was busy sweating it out. I had 3 new messages. There was this email with a subject “onshore opportunity”! The message caught my attention. First it was an opportunity to travel--- long term and secondly, it would be a step towards my career path preference.

Okay great, right on time when I was (sort of) decided already. Good job! Though it is not yet written, I am “tied” in another project. Then again, nothing is final yet until there is evidence and proof.

Oh yeah, trials… obstacles… complications! Positive thinking…trust…faith… come and help me! Please!

You Are Fat For A Thin Girl

Physically my built does not look that I am fat. But a comment from a trainer from my college confused me. He said that "you are fat for a thin girl" when he used this little caliper thing-a-ma-gig to pinch my skin. I was like "Huh? What is that supposed to mean?"

I am not sure if that was what got me into trying out new stuff or do some fitness whatever after I graduated. Whenever I had the time, I did random stuff on the exercise ball, with the dumbbells, my own body weight.. yeah, I guarantee that I looked like a fool. Even if I did self exercise or what not, I felt something was missing.

Eventually I got into a weekly badminton session. My gosh, my form was hideous! I tried the 3 day/1 week of Bikram Yoga. It was very relaxing but hard on the pocket. My folks got a treadmill so I was on it at least 2-3 times a week. My uncle got Wii, so I exercised my writs. Then eventually, basketball found its way back to me.

My life had greatly revolved around this sport. There was a time when life was basketball. For me, life was a game. Maybe up to now that is how I handle my life. Win some and lose some. Some things may go my way and some things may not go my way.

To win, I must physically and mentally prepare myself. To attain something I really want, I must work hard for it. However, it is unavoidable to encounter situations wherein everything is given and yet the desired goal is not achieved. Like it is not meant to be or the other team deserves it more.

What should I do when these situations are encountered? Should I accept the fact that I fell short and just stay there.. or give it another shot until I eventually reach my desired goal. Should I be like a soldier and surrender or still continue the fight? Should I still continue the possible beatings and heartaches for a possibility to attain victory?

Gosh. Life.

Therefore, exercise, exercise, exercise so that whenever I wave my marshmallow-like arms would not giggle.

Post Game Insights on Game 2

I do not know but whenever coach mentions we can beat a certain team with real conviction the opposite happens. Bad game for not only me but for two of my teammates as well. Man, why all at the same time?

Defense was haywire. Offense was worse.

Crap. And to think that we were up against a team they said they usually beat during practice games. However, they have a new member. And it seemed like she was the only one doing the most damage. What hurts more was that we were there for the half of the game. But on the 3rd quarter we only made 3 points!

But we did not go without a fight totally. At least in the 4th quarter we limited them for 4 points only! Nonetheless, the battle was over at that point for some.

Haaaaay. Oh well, on the positive side, no team will get knocked off. Its all about placing. But still, we need to redeem ourselves.

Goodluck talaga!

Mob Wars

Dammit! I am an addict... once again. Rawr! What is the culprit this time? Stupid Mob Wars! It is one of the many applications F@ceb00k offers. Honestly, I am not into F@ceb00k. I find it sooo overwhelming with all the application invites or what so that my puny brain does not understand the purpose or its function!

So how did I get into it? One day my colleagues were talking about this game. There were numerous invites from my F@ceb00k friends as well. One contact messaged me to joined her mob.

There... curiosity killed me... the cat.

Crap!