On Being A Couple

This so-called story began at Christmas 2006. Girl met boy. They went out a handful of times. Things seemed to move towards a deeper friendship. However, everything happened too fast. Girl used her head and as a result boy was heartbroken. Thus, boy went back to his past and come Christmas 2007, boy became a father.

Despite that, boy and girl remained so-called friends. In 2008, girl and boy met again and somehow that something still lingered. But due to the complexity of their situation, things were left at that --- hanging. This went on until 2009. Girl and boy still saw each other occasionally and exchanged stories but that was just that --- complicated.

By first quarter of 2010, boy was happily in-love with another girl. It became them but fell apart. Come third quarter, boy went back to his past but didn't work out again. So here is boy again presenting himself to girl and proposing to be a couple.

What will 2011 hold?
---
Good relationships do not just happen. They need time, patience and two people who truly believe they are meant to be together and fight for that belief.

On Escalation

How'd you escalate
And not appear like a kid
Whinning to her folks?

Patience's a virtue
But also has its limit
This is it. Enough.

Lord, please do guide me
And not let my emotions
get the best of me.

There are no freinds-friends
At work, we are co-workers.
We're professional.

No hard feelings... please.
Just want to get the job done.
Do you understand?

On Small World

GUY WHO I JUST MET: Wala pa tayong 3 hours na magkakilala hinihiritan mo na ako.
*Me thinks, okay, kaya pala ako nakakatakot.*
ME: Ok, I'll keep my mouth shut.
*but parang i met this guy na before, so i asked my friend*
ME:Your friend seems familiar, I think he is the ex of my cousin.
FRIEND: What is the name of your cousin
ME: *insert name of cousin*
FRIEND: Oi, do you know *insert name of cousin*?
GUY: *nanalaki ang mata*
ME: AHA! Apparently I know you more than 3 hours. Now i have the right!

: - o ii

DAD: Oh andito ka na pala.
MOM: Paano ka umuwi?
ME: Hinatid.
MOM: I thought you went out for dinner, maaga pa.
ME: Yup, nag dinner nga.
MOM: Sino kasama mo?
ME: Friend. Sabi mo kasi maghanap na ako ng boyfriend.
MOM & DAD: HAHAHAHA!
----
After an hour or sooo, I got an SMS.

Friend's message: Let's drink!
I showed the message to my mom.
MOM: Oh just like that you'll go? Ano yan, makikipalasingan ka?
ME: HAHAHAHA! Coffee lang yan.

: - o

I was in the car with my family.

Sister: Break na sila *insert name of gay cousin* at nung boyfriend niya.
Me: Masmadami pa atang ex yung kaysa akin e.
Mom: mag boyfriend ka na nga. Wag mo silang takutin.

Okay. Am I scary?

5 Years

Today is a non-working holiday thanks to the Muslims. :) Today also marks my 5th year in HS. Yes, it has been that long. And I thought I would be one of the first to abandon ship once I hit my 2nd year. Now, I am the only original member from my bootcamp. Talk about loyalty.

So what makes me stay here? My pay could be better. People are not how they used to be. Most of my friends have moved on to another challenge. I have not been lucky also in terms of projects. Puro paasa lang. But this is me, always full of hope.

There are really some things that do not turn out how we think it would. I still hope for a better 5th year. I wish things will finally go my way. If not, may I find the courage to leave and take new opportunities.

On Sickness

I am sick and it is killing me. I've missed 3 Ultimate sessions and 3 days for work. Work I don't mind, but ultimate? Boo!

Bronchitis. Pharyngitis. Whateveritis, go away!

On A Dilemma

What are the advantages of telling? One will know what to expect. One will know how to prepare for the future and with this knowledge one can at least try to do something to prolong what will happen.

On the other than, the more one knows the lesser one knows. There are some things that are meant to happen and will eventually happen no matter whatever one does. Without knowledge one can breathe and move freely. There won’t be this feeling that someone is watching. One can live a so-called normal life.

What to do? Should the truth be exposed and risk the outcome having the knowledge? Or should each moment be lived as carefree without paranoia?

On A New Start

Kuya is getting married this December. I just came from a highschool friend's bridal shower. Two out of three of my barkada who were there (except for the bride) has a ring on their, obviously, ring finger. Yes, it seems like everyone is getting hitched.

Before it was Debuts. Now it is bridal showers and weddings. Is this sign of age? Is it about time to get involved? But if you did not know how old I am right now, how old do you think I am?

Come to think of it, I seem like a teenager or someone in her early 20s. Is this a good or a bad thing? I enjoy life, but I guess there is more to life than what I have made out of it. Has time pass me by or have I been living a dead life?

Cheers to their new start, and cheers to my new beginning.

:|

Mahal kita, alam mo ba iyon?
:/

Transparency

How difficult is it to disseminate information? We are within the same vicinity and you still cannot find it within yourself to approach me and to talk to me personally. With the existence of technology, you have options. You can either email or text me. I wondered how come you did not utilize any of these resources properly. What stopped you?

Transparency is one of the foundations of a good organization. When everything is laid out in the open, questions are minimized and the matter is easier to understand. So why hide information? Why did you wait for me to act upon the situation before you reacted? Thus, lack of communication was showcased. How come you did not have the decency to discuss the matter?

All I ask is some transparency. Isn’t it my right to know? Why can’t you just be a little bit more honest and open? What happened is obvious. You do not have the wares of a great or even a good manager. You only had the guts to give a slight preview of the current situation so you will have someone to blame. Tell me now if my understanding is incorrect. But you are full of deceit and I don’t like it.

Terminated

I got in work and did my routine. I turned on my machine and opened the web browsers to VPN, Client’s email, testing tool and test scripts repository after accessing the social networking sites. Surprisingly, my VPN account was disabled, I cannot access my Client’s email and cannot login the testing tool and test scripts repository. I tried again and entered my passwords with caution. Yet, I still got the same results.

So, I emailed our Client using my other email and reported my concern. After a couple of minutes my oh so responsible Madam replied and said:

XX disabled your accounts today, let's discuss this when I come in.

My instinct was correct. The client decided to terminate the project abruptly due to attrition and quality of work. Attrition is acceptable, but quality of work? That was kind a low blow. Whenever I talked to my counterparts they always had positive feedback.

I was like… OKAY. What pissed me off was she did not have the decency to inform me before hand. She had to wait for my email instead of contacting me beforehand? It only showed the lack of communication. I bet the second reason was due to bad management.

Good bye project. I’m free! :)

M&M 2010

The whole league was a truly challenging experience. It was the venue where the ladies can shine for there were no men in sight. There were no athletic guys to count on. Each one was forced to step up and work on my so-called game. We only had each other.

I merged with a fairly new team. Practice was not held weekly. If we were lucky enough to have training we were not complete. There were some teammates who I only saw during game day. It was stressful.

How do you expect to perform well if there was no right preparation? How do you work as a team if there was no communication? How do you know what to do if it something is not explained in detail?

It was not smooth sailing. There was no synergy. Personalities clashed. Conflicts aroused. Individualities were provoked. It was that bad that there came a point that I missed my original team and sadly I wanted the league to be over. But, I did not give up. I kept fighting the battle. And I am happy as each game progressed we started to work as a so-called team.

Despite all the adversities M&M was one for the books. I was given the chance to exercise my patience and push myself to my limits. All in all, I learned a lot. We may not have gotten a W but I gained experiences that can make me a better Ultimate player.

Salamat PaTerrors!

On Putting Things in the Right Perspective

You go to the office to work and earn money. You are an employee and not a parasite. So please do not waste the resources to surf those social networking sites for entertainment, vanity and the like. You are in a corporate environment and not in a club. So please wear the appropriate attire and not go make pa-cute because honestly, it ain’t cute.

So cut me some slack if you cannot accomplish your tasks on time due to your personal working habits. You do not have the right to be cranky, make dabog and be snooty whenever I ask for your status and accomplishments. Show some professionalism cause that is what is expected from you.

There is a right time and place for everything. Like what I said, you go to work to earn money and nothing else. If you get the chance to surf those networking sites and gain friends, then that is a bonus. I do not care what you do during your free time as long as you deliver and meet if not exceed the expectations of the client. However, if the value of our deliverables is affected, then that is another matter. Do not make excuses that you have lots of stuff on your plate and you are not super girl thus you cannot do well. Do not provoke me and I might just bring out your kryptonite.

Here vs. There

It is really difficult to be in between. I do not know where to place myself and to look forward too. This anticipation or lack of it is killing me. Should I start packing and getting stuff that I need or should I continue living within a budget to have “pocket money”?

HERE
1. Ultimate: Beg Nites Mondays at Meralco, Ultra Wednesdays, UP Saturdays, Apollo 10, PULL, Spirits... and the list goes on and on like the Energizer Bunny
2. Trips: Palawan, Macau, Laguna and a possible Surf Trip
3. QT with Family: Kuya’s wedding = relatives coming over from all places

THERE
1. Money: Per Diem = $$$
2. Trips: it is a trip itself with a possibility of numerous side trips
3. Dream: Onshore = long time vision for 5 years and counting
4. Growth: first time to be away from family for a long period of time
5. Miles away

Err. Whatever. In any case, it is I who will make here or there a win-win situation. Yes, buma-brightside! Guide me Kuya Jess and give me strength to face what future head on. May Your will be done. :)

On Making Do

I may not possess every characteristic a talented competitor should have but I make do with what I have to achieve something -- a goal. A goal not to waste what Kuya Jess gave me. Thus, I need to work hard and improve my so-called skills.

I do not have the physical qualities of a great athlete. I cannot run as fast as a cheetah, jump as high as a puma and certainly not as flexible as worm. All I have are my feet and legs that can bring me from point A to point B. Limbs that allow me to engage in different activities such as ultimate.

Self improvement, I need you! So I can be the best that I can be individually to develop my game and eventually help my team. Positivism do not leave me so that whatever experience I encounter in the future I will continue to fight.

Ability is what I am capable to do. Motivation determines what I will do. Attitude determines how well I do it. So help me God!

On Mixed Emotions

A trip to Cebu is always something to look forward too. It is a time for beaches, daily fiesta like meals, balut-ice cream midnight snacks, “discos”, late night kwentuhans. It is an opportunity to spend time with family and simply bond.

I will be flying to Cebu this Friday. I am happy that I will see my relatives again whom I have not seen months or years ago. However, it is a not trip that I am looking forward too mainly due to the purpose of the trip itself. All flights lead to Cebu to celebrate the life of my grandmother.

Things are different now. There will be an empty chair on the corner of the living room. There will be no voice heard praying the novena. There will be no one to prepare Milo/Ovaltine in the mornings even if I find it weird. There will be no one to call me up and greet me on my birthday with matching pansit or spaghetti to celebrate my special day.

Things may be different. I may have physically lost my grandmother but instead, I gained another angel who will continue to pray for me and watch over me from above. I believe that those twinkling things in the sky at night are not stars. Those are openings from heaven from Lola still pouring her love and shining down on me letting me know that she is in a better place and happy.

Trips to Cebu may not be the same but still is something to look forward too. Beaches, daily fiesta like meals, balut-ice cream midnight snacks, “discos”, late night kwentuhans will still be there. More importantly, my family will always be there waiting for me with a huge smile and warm hug.

Thank you Lola for instilling in me the concept of family. You will truly be missed but never forgotten. I love you. Until we meet again.

On Life and Death

The concept of life and death is a fact. It is final which no one can escape. When one starts to live one starts to die. And when one has fully accepted the reality of death, then one starts to fully live.

Despite this knowledge, the transition of physically losing a loved one and gaining an angel is a struggle. It is doubly difficult for those who are left behind. It is with great effort to live each day knowing that one cannot feel the warmth and hear the voice of the other who has moved on to a better place. But there is only one right thing to do – be strong! Savor the happy moments shared and be thankful that the physical suffering is over. This is what Lola wants and this is how it will be.

Life goes on – my journey here and your eternal journey. Bon voyage! Until we meet again. Thank you and love you.

On Deaths and Wakes

Death is usually not a good topic to discuss. Death is when the heart stops beating, sensory capabilities shuts down and mind blacks out. Death is the termination of the connection between mind and body.

The lost of someone is never a happy incident. It is sad that there are people who we only see in wakes and memorials. Thus a wake or memorial is held in order to preserve the memory of the person whose vacation ended and whose journey to another life is about to begin.

Wakes/Memorials are gatherings for the living and the dead. There are no good byes only see you laters. Enjoy the reunion!

NFCH Day 6 - Best 150!

I started the day without any expectations other than giving it my all to help redeem our measly performance from last week. It was a win-win situation already, with the kit, friends discovered, new lessons learned and instant exercise I was already a winner. To quote my brother, “I am just doing this for fun.”

When I got to the venue, I felt no one wanted a repeat of last week thus the cooperation of each Probie. Despite the fact that we only became Probies last week, we acted as team and that felt so good. We stretched together, did drills and prayed together. Even if our drills were “sloppy” and our cuts will not bring us to Boracay, we did not let that dampen our spirits, took it as constructive criticism and continued to give it our best.

1st game: Probies vs. Team 5 (Race to 11)
We were up against a team like us – a loser from last week. It was a win or go home type of game. We did not know how this team plays so we sent in our strongest line. Lessons: Trust = One must believe that one’s teammate can deliver. Knowledge of the rules = to make sure that the other team is not taking advantage.
Final score: Probies: 11; Team 5: 5

2nd game: Probies vs. Unit 1 (Race to 13 for 50 mins)
Another win or go home game. This time we were against team with league experience who had a clean slate team that kicked our asses last week. It was a tight game... pang championship na. “Our offense is not bad it is our defense that sucks.” Lesson: Defense is crucial.
Final score: Probies 13; Unit 1: 12

Lunch time. It dwelled upon me that if we win, we could actually go to Boracay. However, as what I mentioned earlier, whatever the outcome may be, win or lose, I felt like a winner already. Of course, 2-0 from 0-3 was an accomplishment in itself. Then again, why settle for that if we could go all the way?

3rd and final game: Probies vs. Spacegrapes
Just like our 2nd game, the team we were up against kicked our asses last week and has league experience. After two games earlier, we were physically tired. Count on the heat to drain our energies. No wonder -- Camp Hot. I guess it was our pride or adrenaline that kept us going. Good thing there was unlimited hot Nestea to fuel us.
Game time! Two teams battled to be champions and for a trip to Boracay. With everything that was at stake, tension increased. Hearts pounded faster. Cheers grew louder. Deep into the game, fouls and violations were suddenly called. A flying cap scene occurred. Nobody expected the outcome. I myself had doubts, but when I started the day, I told myself, I might as well give it my 110% and have fun.

Lessons: Communication, teamwork, trust, hard work and prayers. Congrats Probies!
Final score: Probies: 13; Spacegrapes: 9

Thanks Probies and of course, super thank you to our Coach. I really learned a lot.

“So paano guys, see you in Boracay?”

NFCH Day 5

0-3.

We tried hard as in very hard but it was not enough. I am not a sore loser but seriously, our asses were kicked! The score was not even close. The games were not even exciting. I bet fanatics would have dozed off. :(

This just showed that I definitely have a lot to learn. Basics and everything! I have tons to work on and improve. I seriously need to at least like running. If I cannot help in offense, I should at least make bawi in defense.

Aja! Good luck to team Probies next week!

NFCH 1

We were excited and ensured ourselves of a good slot – a non-cancer slot. We were that early that we had time to grab some breakfast. I think we enjoyed our grub too much and when we got back, the session had started already.

We injected ourselves in the group. Apparently, we are common faces and the instructor did not teach us the basics anymore. Boo. We just practiced our wobbly throws. Then at the latter part, we had some scrimmage. It was bitin, but I wanted to try out some other sports.

Zips it was, but it was a complete fail for me. Crap. I really have no sense of coordination. Oh well towel. At least I tried. Hahaha!

Overall, it was a good day. We got to sign up for Unilab run and grab lunch too. Our effort was not wasted. The early bird got the worm!

On Nestea Fit Camp Hot

Nestea Fit Camp Hot was a 6-week course sponsored by obviously Nestea. I guess the goal of the camp was to promote a healthy and active lifestyle in preparation for summer. Obviously, their main objective was to endorse and advertise their newest drink with L-Carnetine something.

The camp offered a variety of activities namely beach basketball, beach volleyball, touch rugby, flag football, yoga, hip-hop, zip and ultimate. For only 150 bucks, one got a kit and a chance to learn the sport under the country’s top players. To top it off, the winning teams had the privilege to fly to Boracay. Not bad, right? “So paano, see you guys in Boracay?”

On Timing

One of my many resolutions to myself was to move on. I would not dwell in the past and think of what might have been. I told myself that I would stop taking the initiative in making the first move. If the person would like to know me more, then that person should be the one to make it happen. I would live every moment to its fullest and not wait for what could have been to catch up with the present.

Everything was going as planned for 2010 until I got a message while I was still groggy and all. It was a forwarded message from an "unlisted" number. Good thing I was sleepy and all so I did not bother to reply or take any action.

Self control help me.

On 2010 NY Resolution

1. Less NET READ more
- I spend to much tome staring at this black box. Time is wasted with nonsensical things. I should lessen the radiation my eyes receive. Instead, I should pick up the books lying around and actually READ them.

2. Improve relationship with the ULTIMATE
- I feel LOST. I guess

3. Exercise Exercise Exercise
- Health is wealth.

4. Positive Thinking
- I appear to be a happy go luck person but deep instead all the negativity is there. I should learn to think positively to attract good vibes. Thoughts become words. Words become actions. Actions become habits. Habits will eventually become my character.

5. CAREER
- I have been in this same industry for 4 years plus. I am not getting any younger. It is really ideal for me to climb up the ladder. If nothing happens real soon, then I should definitely make the move.

6. Better ME
- I have been playing it safe. It is about time to come out of my shell.

7. SAVE SAVE SAVE
- I am a thrifty person. I should learn when to spend and not get carried away. I should track my income and expenses.

Aja 2k10!