On Retirement Benefit

Computed my retirement benefit.

Would it be worth the wait?

I love my job!

I LOVE my job!

Now, I could only really mean it....

YES, I DO LOVE MY JOB! <3

Hindi Mo Lang Alam

Why do people change once they enter a relationship? They act as if they are the only people in the world. They think that they are better than others.

Go ahead and snuggle and say sweet nothings to each other. Place her on a pedestal and let your world revolve around her. Enjoy being in cloud 9 cause if I am not mistaken this is your first relationship in your more than a quarter here on earth.

Am I bitter? Nope I am better cause hindi mo lang alam the person who is the apple of your eye once targeted your longtime “career” who busted you numerous times.

On Petiks

I should be busy Yet I am doing nothing Hello Petiks life!

On Pagod

Every single freaking day is a struggle. Sleep is prolonged due to the agony of another work day. Feet are dragged daily towards the office. Deep breaths are taken upon entering the prison.

Maybe I need a break. Maybe I am just burned out. But what use will a vacation do if when I get back I will face the same shit?

I do not want to throw the white flag. But I cannot seem to see the light at the end of the long and winding tunnel.

Nakakapagod
Ano nga ba ang tama?
Ano ang dapat?

Day 1 of 21 in Exile

I ran out of excuses and options and now I am in exile. That is the fact. So instead of being negative, might as well embrace the situation for time does not and shall never equal experience.

So how was Day 1?

First day was a day of firsts. It was my first time to take a dump on air. My first time to live on my own. My first time to eat in a restaurant wherein everything serve was bathed in chilli.

Through these experiences I've learned that despite the circumstances when one has to go one has to go. No questions asked. Moreover, given the situation, one will make do with what is given in order to survive.

Cheers to more firsts!

On Smile

Note to self. Be thankful that you have a decent job. A job that pays good clean money even if each freaking day seems senseless and there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Be grateful that you belong to a high earning project which brings in millions of dollars.

Inhale and exhale.
Everything will be alright.
When in doubt, just smile.
:)

On Thankful

Don’t you just hate pahabols? When you are about to leave tas bigla mayroon papagawa? Nice timing, diba? Especially since it is Friday and tamaditis mode is switched on already. But as a professional, I had to suck it up and act accordingly. Instead of ranting I should be grateful instead that I have a decent job that pays well. In addition, I got a CFA. Even if pampalubag loob I am thankful nonetheless.

On Turn of Tides

The other week I got a call from a recruiter. I do not remember submitting anything recently. I guess they are updating their records.

On my way to work last Tuesday I was pondering that I might actually reach a decade in my current job. I am on my 6th year and running. The company offers opportunities to grow. It is just a matter on how I act to it that will make the difference. Why would I transfer to a different company and build myself again? Why should I go through the hassle.


Then the unexpected happened. I got a call. I took the test and underwent the HR interview. Apparently my chicken penmanship and imagination made sense and I passed both according to an insider. Next in line is a panel interview then a call interview from an overseas client.

Kakaiba KA talaga. Whenever I am at the brink of accepting my situation you turn things around. Don't fear, just believe. :)

On Center of Attention

On the first meeting you were pakipot. You distanced yourself for whatever reasons. Then you criticized them. You commented that you don't like them and said not so nice things.

Apparently that was just a show. An evil scheme. A plot to get their attention so you can be the star. Now that you have a new bunch of “friendly friends” you neglect me like a speck of dust. Amidst a group you do not acknowledge my presence instead greet everyone else I am with.

After all the bashing you are now “friendly friends”. You are feeling close with matching touch-touch-akbay-haplos pa. Despite the meaningful looks you still continue. Good thing I chose my friends and they are gentlemen.

Then again, ang tipo kong mga lalake ay maginoo at medyo bastos. Center of attention ka nga at pinag-uusapan. Pero kung alam mo lang, madaming hindi magagandang bagay ang pinagsasabi tungkol sa iyo.

On Broken

When people first saw me in crutches they could not help but ask what happened to me. I appreciate the concern but there comes a point wherein I got tired of explaining what happened. In the countless years I have engaged in physical activities July 11 was the first time I seriously got injured. I want to erase that memory on how I tore a ligament in a none bearing just for fun game lang.. Ang saklap. 

Three weeks ago, I graduated from crutches. Now I am using a single cane. But still I get stares and questions from people. Maybe it is due to the sterile strip under my chin due to an unfortunate event that transpired last Christmas. 

A while ago on my first day of work for 2012, the security guard asked me: Ma'am nahulog kayo?

I replied: 

Wag mo nang itanong kung bakit ako nabalian ng buto. 

Malamang nung nahulog ako sa'yo.
'Di mo ko sinalo.

Fail.

On Feeling First Day High

Back to work after a long layoff.

Can't say that it is good to be back though. Bummer.

On Bench Model

Nakakapagod ang maraming ginagawa. Yung tipong buong araw kang nakaupo sa harap ng computer. Hindi ka man lang makatayo para mag-CR or kumuha ng inumin. Parang hindi pwedeng tumigil man lang para huminga.

Pero mas nakakapagod ang maghanap ng gagawin kapag wala naman talagang kailangan gawin. Nakakaloko lalo kapag mayroong maghanap ng output. Kaya ito, kailangan magpanggap na busy.

Hello Bench model!

On Micro Manager

wala kang kwenta. ang alam mo lang ang mag-generate ng statistics. subukan mo kaya mag test at tingnan natin kung makailan ka.

ktnx bye.

Words of Wisdom from Lola

How can one remain enthustiastic with a 10 hour Monday to Friday and 8 hour Saturday work schedule? It would be bearable if there is no naggy micro manager who cares more on the numbers than the quality. Things should be lighter with additional resources but workload has not changed at all. Obviously there is an issue. 

Having said that, what do I gain if I extend for another month? Yes, it will look good at my resume. I will be able to save more. There will be a sense of fulfillment at the end of the day. But is it worth it?

In as much as I would like to stay at the back if mind it is telling me otherwise. i remember what lola said before... Take care of yourself first so that you can do all the things that you need to do. 

With that I rest my case. Bring me home as stated in the ticket. It is time to take care of my knee. 

On Tupperware

If someone informs you of a plan, it does not mean that you need to do it. I am a decent person and relayed you the message. You do not need to give me that tone. You do not need give me that attitude. I would be more than happy if you do not tag along.

Fact: Some people are really stupid and use lame excuses. They maybe insane, but I cannot blame them. May mga Tupperware lang talaga sa mundo.

On Onshore

Mahirap pala
Hindi nakakatuwa
Uwi na ako

:(

On Extension

My extension will end on the 30th of this month. A small part of me wants to stay and see my project go-live but a huge part of me desires to leave and take on another challenge. What is the right thing to do?

I only see two positive things if I extend until mid-October. First is that I will make my home company happy for they will still earn from me cause I gave in to their "suggestion" to finish the project wherein I am the only tester. Second, it will somewhat solve the resource issue.

Then again, based on how things are going there is no assurance that my project will go-live by mid-October. This may lead my home company to sweet talk me again on extending. Being assigned to a company which does not have a strong IT foundation hampers my career growth.

Personally, I would love to be a bench model. Time to relax and re-tool. More time to attend on my personal matters.

Is this the right path to take?

On Keeping It In

In as much as I would love to let it all out... I can not. I must remain calm at keep my emotions at checked. I have bursted out a number of times and it was not a pretty sight. I do not want a repeat of those instances so I must keep it in.

Then again, how could I keep it in? It seems like a tug of war between what is supposedly good and what I love. Indeed it is a tough situation. However, I must really control my urge and keep whatever this is to myself for hopefully a brighter tomorrow.

On Flexi

I miss the times when I had the luxury to do other things other than work. The times when I don't have to be at the office by 9 on the dot. Instances when I could meet up with friends over lunch. Times when I could sneak out and have a massage or go to rehab.

Today I kinda experienced that feeling all over again. I got in work a shade past 9 and then left at around 4. Afterwards I passed by my ortho to hear the obvious. Then I went to the coffee shop to use the CC receipt and pampered myself in a spa. Then I capped my day with dinner with my folks.

Kung pwede Lang flexi araw araw.

Good luck nalang mamaya sa trabaho!

On Size

I know I am not gifted. But, of course, being the "hey notice me" person that you are you had to tell it right at my face with a loud voice for the whole world to hear. Yeah... yeah... ikaw na ang mayroong malaking hinaharap. At ako si I must I must increase my bust!

No worries, I am happy with what I have. I have accepted it a long time ago. It is convenient, I can get away without wearing a bra. Kidding aside, I would not look cheap wearing those revealing low neckline clothes which you love to wear, cause there is nothing to reveal in the first place. Despite my torn ligament, I believe I will have the same pace as you cause I do not have have additional weight to worry about. Also, when I get old it will stay in place.

So please stop flaunting, cause seriously, there is nothing to flaunt about. You do not have it.