On Gadget

It is expensive
20 plus for a gadget
But its so pretty!

Err, decisions. Argh!
To buy or not to buy it
Money, where are you?

On PCL Day ?

Obviously I have lost count. I am thankful that my so-called freak accident did not harm my knee. After a month and a couple of days it felt good. Tested my knee in the pool. Though I cannot fully bend it yet, I could somehow swim despite the weird feeling. I guess it is normal. Sanayan lang.

I did lots of walking too. Speed is improving but parentals are telling me to slow down. My form is another story. I need to take conscious effort not to limp.

Patience and perseverance do not leave me.

On BF

After all these years, it is still you. Honestly, I have thought of "what could have been". We have talked about it too but arrived at another open ended question. 


I guess things really do happen for a reason. If we did start our story a baker's dozen years ago I don't think our relationship could withstand the changes due to immaturity and other factors. I would not have been strong enough to take the challenges. No regrets. We still have communication despite the distance, time difference and years. After all these years, you are still my bestfriend. Buti nalang kasi "Ang boyfriend napapalitan; ang bestfriend, hindi."

On Suspicion

The x-ray reading is out. No jaw fracture. Thank God! But I decided that I will still undergo CT scan when I get back Manila. Before the x-ray did not capture the PCL tear so this time I want to make sure that it is really nothing. 

Do I have it in me to face the results? Seems like malapitin ako disgrasya lately. I hope and pray nothing comes up. Nanghihina na ako....

On Montsary

Today marked the first month from my post PCL reconstruction. I feel my condition has improved and my recovery is on the right track. I can walk without support but the limp is there. I get tired easily though. Guess I lack practice. I also need to work on my flexibility.

Okay na right? But guess what? I gained additional 6 stitches! I don't know what transpired. My stomach was aching so I rushed to the bathroom. Dsymen. Next thing I saw was the ceiling and me breathing deeply on the floor. So I sat up in panic and called mom. Then I saw blood dripping right under my cheek. Bad trip.

Alan mo yun, hindi ko na masyado kelangan tulong tapos ito naman nangyari. Nakuha ko pang maligo bago tinakbo sa ER. Hello 6 stitches! Tapos suspicious jaw fracture pa. :( Pero hindi muna ako nagpag CT scan kasi may flight ako.

Despite the freak accident  I am still lucky that I made it to my flight after missing it last October. Pinag mukha nanaman sa akin na dapat ako maging thankful na mayroon akong pamilya na nagmamahal sa akin. Kahit ano mangyari, kahit na maging hassle o pabigat ako andiyan parin sila para sa akin.

So kamusta ang pasko ninyo?

On PCL Day.....

I lost count. Counting the days are not important. Instead I should make each day count.

Updates? Quads are jello but slowly getting some form. Strength and power are picking up however I still struggle with the en dynamic. Flexibility is a challenge which leads to less mobility. I still cannot reach my ass. During stretching todo nginig pa. My calves tighten.

On a lighter note, I graduated from crutches! I am now dependent on a SINGLE cane! At some instances I can walk without putting any weight on the cane but the limp is still there. I can do steps. I think I've walked too much and there is a small lump starting to form at the back of my knee. Did I push too hard? Ill put hot compress first and hopefully it disappears. I hope it is nothing bad.

Tiis pa. Sikap pa. Malalampasan ko din ito.

On Feeling First Day High

Back to work after a long layoff.

Can't say that it is good to be back though. Bummer.

On PCL Day 14

Today is my second day out other than checkup or rehab. As a thank you I treated bunso and helper for lunch. Target was Bonchon at Galle but ended up at Buffalo Wings and Things. Stupid guard! He shouldn't have allowed vehicles to enter if the parking lot is already full! We spent 14 minutes going around in circles and eventually went out. We had to pay 40 bucks pa. FML.

Anyway, I can walk using 1 stick! But I am more comfortable using 2 sticks. It is faster for me to go  in and out the car. Steps are not as huge as a challenge anymore. Basically, I am getting familiar on how to use the sticks na. Also, I was able to take a couple of steps without support. Question is, am I doing it right? Is my form correct? Am I pushing myself too hard at baka mabigla naman ako? Hahayz. Sana maging ok ang lahat.

On The End?

Coming together 2 years ago was a huge challenge. A group of people from different backgrounds decided to join forces. It was a rough journey and it is still. But there was progress for people who stuck together. Eventually glimpses of success was experienced when the team took the initiative to work together. But where are we right now?

It saddens to know that something you put time and effort on is slowly disintegrating. It takes time, effort and discipline to be part of a team. But it takes more sacrifice to form one and work as one.

Is this the end of the road?

Huwag naman sana. Sana mayroon pa akong maabutan sa panahon na magaling na ako....

On PCL Day 13

Hello Rehab day 3! Same same. Ultrasound, stretch (90 degrees) and tense with hot packs. After was a 2 round walk with a 4-legged cane. Then the flexion machine. My quads are weak. :( Todo nginig even if 0 lang yung flexion. :( 


Improvement seems slow. My legs are soooo weak. I have been stuck downstairs for almost two weeks. I choose not to go out to avoid the hassle. Hirap na hirap na ako. :( What am I to do? I push myself naman. I take time to exercise on my own. But I guess kulang pa e. Should I push myself more? Should I not baby it anymore? Even if there is pain, sige parin?


Here I am again doubting if I did the right thing. Not everyone who tore the PCL don't have it reconstructed. I guess pro athletes are the only ones who do it. So why did I have it reconstructed? Sports is not my source of income and I managed to live four months despite the tear. Did I make the right decision? 


Oh well, tapos na. All I can do is push push push! At least I can walk with one support!. Need to gain back confidence. Need to work on my quads para when I go back on Friday big improvement on the machine. As they say, "No one said it would be easy; we just said it'd be worth it." I pray each night that I see improvements and maka-recover na ako the soonest.

On Kailan

Kailan kaya

Akong makakalad

makakatakbo

Kailan kaya

Akong makakapasok

Sa opisina

Kailan kaya

Akong magiging okay

Ha-hay tuhod ko.

On PCL Day 11

Day 2 of rehab. The pain killer did its job and minimized the pain. I believe my knee is slowly improving. Flexion is almost 90 degrees. However, strength is not yet there. Walking without the help of the sticks seems dim for now. My left leg is still floating. I'm baby-ing it. At the back of my mind I am taking care of it. Thus, I compromise the proper way of walking. Knowing me, I have inborn tactics to minimize the pain. Unknowingly I am still afraid to put 100% weight on it. Thus the precaution.

On a positive note, I can sit and stand on my own. No assistance needed other my bff sticks. Next goal is to reach at least 100 degrees flexion and gain confidence walking with one stick nalang. Lets do this!

On Soltitude

Solitude causes
Loneliness, yes but also
Fits of ecstasy

On PCL Day 10

First day out other than visiting my doctors! Have family lunch at Imperial Palace. Food is not that great considering that they advertised it as Intercontinental. Sobrang layo sa Imperial Palace sa Cebu! Then again, iba naman talaga yun.

Anyway, I think I did fairly well. I was seated at the passenger seat. Less hassle getting in and out of the car. Improving! I think I did well on the steps. Now, if only I can get rid of at least one stick so that I could get my own food and not just stay stuck seated.

On Unsaid

Utak at puso
Ikaw ang iniisip
At tinitibok

Kung alam mo lang
Hangang ngayon, kaw parin
Ang nilalaman

Nakakahiya
Nakaraan na iyon
"Shhh" nalang ako

On PCL Day 8

Tan Gina!

MASAKIT!!!!

First day of rehab sucked!

Just did ultrasound, tense plus hot packs, weights for arms, failed at walking using the cane, painful stretch (foot to back of butt) and leg raises using the foam.

Tan Gina!