I ask myself… where am I right now? Am I happy with how my life is going to?
At present, I am still locked in the smaller prison. Sadly, I am not ecstatic with my current situation. On the upper side, things are a little better since I got back from my vacation. Before I left the country, I had a small talk with my Manager. It may appear that I ranted but who would not if you come in daily and not feel any sense of accomplishment?
In all fairness, when I got back the access and connections improved somewhat. At least I can now retrieve some documents which I was not able to do before. However, I still do ask myself, am I happy with what I am doing?
I still learn new things in my current project, but is this what I want to be? I have great patience, but is the work set-up slowly killing me? Is this burnt out?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Win a Free Handbag! :)
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Let's all get a chance (or more) to win!
Visit the website at http://www.handbagplanet.com/
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Zombie
I told myself that I would fix my sleeping habits for the upcoming workweek. It is already one in the morning… and guess what!?! I am still wide-awake!
My gosh, I am slowly getting back to my “zombie” lifestyle.
I better crawl to my bed and sleep!
My gosh, I am slowly getting back to my “zombie” lifestyle.
I better crawl to my bed and sleep!
On Why I Love To Sleep
There are occasions when I imagine committing suicide. At work, I have a “corner office”. The window is just at my back. There are numerous instances when I imagine just jumping from that 16th floor window. Whenever I am in a plane that is up in the sky, I depict myself opening one of the emergency exits and leap out into nothingness.
I do not only have thoughts like these whenever I am elevated. Each time I see rail tracks I have this tiny urge to hop into them. Whenever I cross the street there are instances when I feel like springing into the pathway of a high speeding vehicle.
Disturbing, isn’t? Do I need help?
Probably this is why I choose to sleep all day… So I could block off thoughts like these.
I do not only have thoughts like these whenever I am elevated. Each time I see rail tracks I have this tiny urge to hop into them. Whenever I cross the street there are instances when I feel like springing into the pathway of a high speeding vehicle.
Disturbing, isn’t? Do I need help?
Probably this is why I choose to sleep all day… So I could block off thoughts like these.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Basketball
The game was like a movie full of action and drama. Players dove for lose balls. They wrestled for position. They fought for every basket. They sacrificed their bodies to get the call. Blood was even shed. Cruel words were exchanged.
The score was tied after 10 minutes. But at the start of the 2nd half we found ourselves behind by a double digit margin. A little into the 3rd period, blood was shed. My teammate almost broke her nose in the attempt to get a charge. Unfortunately according to the official’s eagle eye, “nakatagilid daw siya”. Deadly words were uttered --- “papatayin kita!” Unpleasant words were exchanged with the official and the players. Technical fouls were called.
Tension was greatly relevant. This was a live-or-die situation for both teams. With a key player down, it was a tall order for us to undertake. But giving up was not an option. Like what coach mentioned, “She who blinks first loses” and “Never without faith, nothing without passion“. We never took our eyes of our goal and continued to fight despite our anxious faces.
Out of nowhere, we discovered our hearts and regained a bit of shooting touch. We got the opponent to penalty within just 2 minutes into the 4th. We rallied and found ourselves within striking distance. Then again, as if having one player down was not enough, to add insult to injury, another player got fouled out!
In spite of this, we still made do with what was available. Unbelievable with 5 minutes or so to go, we were only down by 2 points. We were so near and yet so far. I fought and fought real hard. Even if the buzzer sounded, I still continued to play. What hurt more was that we lost by 3 points. The pass reached me with no time left but I still continued and threw an attempt. A 3-pointer that went in! If and if only there was more time left!
For the first time in history, I honestly felt like crying in the course of playing. How come we cannot seem to pass them? Did we let all the opportunities slip away? Did the missed free-throws cost us? Did my turnovers really hurt?
Obviously, these questions will never be answered. This will add to my list of “lessons learned”. Evidently in every game there is a winner and a loser. But how come I always find myself on the losing side. Is this a sign for me to hang my shoes? Can I still take in the frustrations? Will it still be worth it for the possibility of finding myself in the other side?
I guess I might as well give it another run…until I reach my goal… or maybe until my body cannot take it anymore. At least in the end, I can tell myself, I am not a failure. I tried and never gave up.
The score was tied after 10 minutes. But at the start of the 2nd half we found ourselves behind by a double digit margin. A little into the 3rd period, blood was shed. My teammate almost broke her nose in the attempt to get a charge. Unfortunately according to the official’s eagle eye, “nakatagilid daw siya”. Deadly words were uttered --- “papatayin kita!” Unpleasant words were exchanged with the official and the players. Technical fouls were called.
Tension was greatly relevant. This was a live-or-die situation for both teams. With a key player down, it was a tall order for us to undertake. But giving up was not an option. Like what coach mentioned, “She who blinks first loses” and “Never without faith, nothing without passion“. We never took our eyes of our goal and continued to fight despite our anxious faces.
Out of nowhere, we discovered our hearts and regained a bit of shooting touch. We got the opponent to penalty within just 2 minutes into the 4th. We rallied and found ourselves within striking distance. Then again, as if having one player down was not enough, to add insult to injury, another player got fouled out!
In spite of this, we still made do with what was available. Unbelievable with 5 minutes or so to go, we were only down by 2 points. We were so near and yet so far. I fought and fought real hard. Even if the buzzer sounded, I still continued to play. What hurt more was that we lost by 3 points. The pass reached me with no time left but I still continued and threw an attempt. A 3-pointer that went in! If and if only there was more time left!
For the first time in history, I honestly felt like crying in the course of playing. How come we cannot seem to pass them? Did we let all the opportunities slip away? Did the missed free-throws cost us? Did my turnovers really hurt?
Obviously, these questions will never be answered. This will add to my list of “lessons learned”. Evidently in every game there is a winner and a loser. But how come I always find myself on the losing side. Is this a sign for me to hang my shoes? Can I still take in the frustrations? Will it still be worth it for the possibility of finding myself in the other side?
I guess I might as well give it another run…until I reach my goal… or maybe until my body cannot take it anymore. At least in the end, I can tell myself, I am not a failure. I tried and never gave up.
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