On ....

imagine
meeting a "star"
and only having a small amount of time to spend with them
then they leave
then they dump you
then they move on.

they stop texting
they stop the contact
they've stopped everything to do with
you.

you wish you didn't miss them
you wish you had moved on too
but then you realize
you do miss them, you haven't moved on.

what do we do now?

On the Financial Crisis

Since the US of A is experiencing a financial crisis it is inevitable that where I reside would not be affected. So how does my company react to this situation? FREEZE ALL INCREMENTS PLANNED IN JANNUARY 2009!

Wtf!
But wait, there is hope:

We will remain vigilant and will continue to review the situation throughout the year, and will do the increments as soon as the situation permits. I have asked the People/HR teams to continue the years annual performance review and promotion process planned in December-January, as we will use these for increments as and when they happen in 2009.

What the hell?!? More responsibilities but same pay! Who are you kidding?!? Pa-asa!

The Security Blanket

I am not sure if it is just me or I do I really attract bad boys? Honestly, I seem like an angel amidst them. No offense meant, but how come the guys who approach me are “addicts”? When I say addict it does not exclusively mean the need for drugs but also other stuff such as computer games, money, fame, sex and the like.

Do I have this certain aura that they somehow find their way towards me? Do I give out a vibe that they feel secured under my wings? Do they idolize me?

It does not feel good that people only run after you whenever they are depressed or down. I have my own life “issues” which I need to handle as well. Even if I appear like an angel amidst those “devils”, I do not want to be a security blanket forever!

On Mixed Emotions

My US project manager set an urgent meeting unexpectedly. There was no agenda in his meeting invite. That was likely of him but it was unlikely of him not to wait for our confirmation or availability. Having no agenda caused speculations – we are expanding, thoughts of onshore or layoff.

Apparently, one of our assumptions hit the spot. Due to the current situation of the economics, our client decided to stop their engagement with us. When my superiors announced the news, I did not know how to react. Deep inside I was happy because honestly I think I have learned what I can learn from the project. In addition, I cannot see myself doing what I am doing any longer. However, I cannot show how overjoyed I am since we lost a client without our own doing. Therefore, I just kept my mouth shut and acted that I was lost for words

3rd Year Anniv

Yesterday marked my third year of being a corporate slave for this company. Who would have thought I would have lasted another 365 days after my 2 year bond? It is not as if I am not looking for greener pastures. So what am I still doing here?

Is it about time to give up my wishful thinking that I would eventually get a break? Do I have the courage to leave the safe premises of my office? Do I have the strength to get out of my daily routine? Can I handle the anxiety of building new set of friends?

Then again, maybe I am still happy with my current situation. Things can be worse. At least I have a job that is flexible and pays well compared to others. I still have a life outside work. I have built a good set of relationships which is hard to abandon.

So what am I supposed to do? I better make up my mind… sooner or later I might just find myself with a new pen if I do not take any action.