On being a Snob

I am not a very friendly person. Some, rather most people perceive me as a snob. I cannot argue with them since everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But when I ponder more on that characteristic, I guess they are partly right ~ haha, I don’t want to admit it fully.

Why do they see me as a snob? Is it my physical attributes? Is it my eyebrows? Is my voice? Is it the way I speak? Is it because I am quiet?

Tell me! Then again, whatever! This is the way that I am. It is not my intention to snob anyone. It may be a defense mechanism of mine to keep stuff to myself thus making me appear like a snob.

Oh well, that’s life. Next time, do not judge people right away cause you do not know what you are missing. Charing!

Me and My Work Now

I ask myself… where am I right now? Am I happy with how my life is going to?

At present, I am still locked in the smaller prison. Sadly, I am not ecstatic with my current situation. On the upper side, things are a little better since I got back from my vacation. Before I left the country, I had a small talk with my Manager. It may appear that I ranted but who would not if you come in daily and not feel any sense of accomplishment?

In all fairness, when I got back the access and connections improved somewhat. At least I can now retrieve some documents which I was not able to do before. However, I still do ask myself, am I happy with what I am doing?

I still learn new things in my current project, but is this what I want to be? I have great patience, but is the work set-up slowly killing me? Is this burnt out?

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Zombie

I told myself that I would fix my sleeping habits for the upcoming workweek. It is already one in the morning… and guess what!?! I am still wide-awake!

My gosh, I am slowly getting back to my “zombie” lifestyle.

I better crawl to my bed and sleep!

On Why I Love To Sleep

There are occasions when I imagine committing suicide. At work, I have a “corner office”. The window is just at my back. There are numerous instances when I imagine just jumping from that 16th floor window. Whenever I am in a plane that is up in the sky, I depict myself opening one of the emergency exits and leap out into nothingness.

I do not only have thoughts like these whenever I am elevated. Each time I see rail tracks I have this tiny urge to hop into them. Whenever I cross the street there are instances when I feel like springing into the pathway of a high speeding vehicle.

Disturbing, isn’t? Do I need help?

Probably this is why I choose to sleep all day… So I could block off thoughts like these.