Being somewhere in between is complicated. It has its pros and cons. Being almost there but not really there is like being so near and yet so far. Not knowing where to stand. Not knowing if something is real or something you just want to believe in.
Being in an indeterminate state…
It is grueling to place yourself. It is grueling to figure out where to place yourself. It is grueling to figure out what you can and cannot do especially when you are expected to do this. It gets tiring to try to read minds… to reckon things out. The how’s and the if’s.
It is strenuous to be in a situation wherein you yearn for something you know you cannot have. It is wicked to make someone hope in something that they cannot attain. It is evil to keep someone’s hope alive when someone does not have a chance at all. It is unreasonable to give a foretaste of something you will take away so soon, so fast.
However, what if you never find something as beautiful? What if that was the best of the best? Then you will be comparing everything that comes your way...
To be in an indeterminate state is to feel your way. Are you in or out? Where are you – are you there yet? Should you or shouldn’t you? Can you or you cannot? And since you are in limbo, you cannot even say if you can.
It is grueling if you are somewhere in between. Since this time you are the one hanging. It is your fate that is uncertain. It is you who is guessing. And you are not guessing between what is real or artificial. You are guessing between all infinite possibilities like a multiple choice type of exam.
Bottom line, it is difficult to be caught somewhere in between… especially when the people involved are your friends.
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