On Monthsary

Dear Ultimate,

Today marks a month when I used both of my knees as feet. A month has passed and yet I am not yet 100%. It is killing me especially I am someone who uses sports as refuge from all the “kaguluhan” in this world.

Sports is the only thing that moves me. Despite panic Mondays, Wednesday midweek humps and Friday weekend modes I find the motivation to get up and go to the office because at the back of my mind there is Ultimate waiting for me. Thirsty Tuesday is a treat as well because of the sweat that comes with Basketball. During weekends instead of sleeping in and letting the day pass by I get up earlier than workdays at my own will.

I have learned my lesson. I should not overwork my body because I am not as young as I used to be. I should take care of my body --- eat well and sleep early. More importantly, I should choose my battles carefully and slow down from sports. I should show how much I appreciate my family and the simple things in life.

I know that I am a fairly patient person. But, when will the day come when I won't feel any pain? I think I am losing it. Please give me the strength to continue living with purpose and enthusiasm.

On Post Game

"The ultimate victory in competition is derived from the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have done your best and that you have gotten the most of what you had to give." - Howard Cosell

I feel miserable knowing that if I was 100% I would have performed better --- I would have scored 2 more goals, I would have prevented an in cut and eventually cause a TO, I would have rattled the handler, etc. But on the lighter side, I know deep down I did all that I can considering my physical condition. So in a way I am happy.

Bawi nalang sa Saturday!

On Conditionally Cleared

After two weeks, my ortho and rehab doctors conditionally cleared me with great hesitation. Obviously napilitan lang sila because I did not pass the duck walk challenge. Also they would not know if I play or not and as if they can stop me from playing. They just told me to expect that I will feel pain afterwards. If the pain is different I need to go back instantly.

I know that pushing myself would put myself in greater danger. But this is a risk I am willing to take. Risks need to be taken to discover how far I can go. It is better to take the risk because whatever the outcome maybe I can accept (eventually) rather than failing to try and thinking what could have been.

As they say... Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.

Fight!

On PFPS, MPS & Plantar Fasciitis

Apparently my bruised knees aren't my only "problem". The uncomfortable feeling that I experienced whenever I take my first few steps in the morning had a deeper meaning. The tight muscles and stiff joints after Ultimate and Basketball was not simply due to exhaustion. There is a scientific/medical explanation for the pain.

Say hello to Patellofemoral Pain Syndrome (PFPS), Myofascial Pain Syndrome (MPS) and Plantar Fasciitis. What are those? All I know that the first two are related to the knees. Basically, it is the discomfort I feel in my knees because there are two bones that rub each other or something. In addition, there is this muscle or tissue that is weak. As for Plantar Fasciitis, it is related to the feet. It is either I'm flat footed or have falling arches.

Sadly, there is no direction solution for this. However, there are many things I can do to address the so-called problems. Ice is my new bff. Hello to 2 hours rehab and home exercises. On the lighter side, I can play. I just do not know what kind of pain or what-so-ever I will feel afterwards. Well, time to choose my battles carefully.

Fight!

On Knee Strain and Enfussion

I am thankful that the initial reading was only a knee strain and t/c enfussion. I just need to rest for 3 days. If the pain does not go away in a week then I need to visit the ortho and have it checked. Is this the Ultimate's way of telling me to have a break?

I felt bad that I wasn't able to play. I felt that I left my team hanging. But when I saw them in their 2nd game, the heavy feeling subsided. I saw the improvement in the team from an "outsider's" perpective. In a way, each member knew their role and took the initiave to perform the best that they can do. There were lapses or what so, but the other members were there to try help out. Hopefully the delivery of those messages would be done in a better manner and not appear as "mga tao na galing sa kalye".

On the lighter side, my current situation really opened my eyes to see how much my parents care for me. Most often than not I feel that they favor my younger siblings and kuya over me. I feel neglected (pero baka kulang lang ako sa pansin). I guess they do that because my other siblings need the care and attention more than I do. But whenever my time comes I am assured that there will be there for me as well.

So for now, quality time with family and friends muna. Sana di ako lumobo at hindi mawala ang endurance/stamina/etc.

On Tanga Lang

It hurts. The sad part is it is my fault. I pushed my self to my limit. It was only a practice game but the competitor in me didnt take it easy. Instead, I gave my all. Legs were tired yet I ran after a fastbreak. I jumped but there was no lift and i crashed on my knees. I felt the pain instantly but I still picked myself up and played on the rest of the 2nd quarter.

Id like to think it's not that bad cause I was still able to swipe the ball but I couldnt run full speed anymore. I'd get the ball but I couldnt go and start a fastbreak. I couldnt change directions. I couldn't change speed. However, played on and finished the game with old school 3 points ahead.

I don't know what this is. :& the pain I can manage but the thought that I can't play indefinitely brings tears. Ang tanga tanga ko!

On Another Lost

Another lost equates to a new set of learning experiences. It is furstrating cause I really really to the nth level tried and gave my very best. Apparently, my best was not good enough. It hurts.

I guess in order to succeed I must fail so I may know what to do and what not to do the next time. Numerous questions are constantly running through my mind wherever I am. Things I should have done. Things I should work on. Things I should do to help elevate the game of my teammates. Things I should have said to at least inspire and keep the morale high. The list goes own. Am I an adik?

Oh well, what am I to do? Wala na. Tapos na yung game... yun na yun. Now is not the time to stop. I need to continue to fight and be strong despite the countless setbacks. These hurdles should not stop me. Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Hopefully I find the strength to always keep my head up.

Fighting spirit I need you!

On 2 Years

Two years and counting
June 1 2009
Was the date I fell in love

Some think I'm foolish
Cause I give U importance
And give U much time

Not a day has passed
Without U crossing my mind
I didnt think this'll last

I am not the best
Still have a lot to improve
And I'll work on it

It's not been easy
Many obstacles lingers
But that won't stop me

Nakakagigil!
U pushed me to my limits
Towards a purpose

With U I'm at peace
Hungry for more experiences
The sorrows and joys

This I'll assure U
Optimize and maximize
Each moment with U

Cheers to our 2 years!

On Attitude

Nothing can stop the person with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the person with the wrong mental attitude.

According to Mr. Webster, attitude is the way a person views something. It is the manner of thinking, feeling and acting that reveals one's disposition and opinion. Attitude plays an important role in sports. Athletes with a negative outlook will most likely have a not so good outcome compared to athletes with a positive outlook.

Attitude is how we perceive things. If we think we are going to lose even if the game has not started yet, then right there we have lost already. On the other hand, if we think we can take the opponent then at least there is confidence and we are a step closer to actually winning. Having a positive attitude is a habit. If we train with discipline then it will carry over to games. If we do things the right way then we will correctly master it. Then again, if we do things incorrectly many times then unconsciously mastering the wrong thing and it will be part of our system. Thus having the right attitude goes a long way. Even if we are not the most skilled team but we are really try our best and give our 100% plus effort then eventually we will improve.

Also, whenever we are in a bad situation, we should approach it in a positive way. We should always keep keep our heads up. If not, then the situation may become worse. On the other hand, if we approach the situation in positive way then somehow the light at the end of the end may be seen. If we hold onto a great attitude while we go through our present reality, we will be forming our next reality that is coming down the pipeline.

Ultimately, attitude is the key. Sadly, it is not something that can be thought or bought. Even if how much motivation or what so is planted in one's mind but the individual does not want to respond then there is nothing that can be done.

:(

On Ultimate Sport

Skills
It is a given that in every sport one must have skills. There are different skill levels but it is ideal to have a good foundation. So the questions are: What skills do I lack and need to work on? What skills do I currently possess and could improve on?

Physical Fitness
The fitter athlete has an advantage even if skill level is not the same. Nothing can replace physical fitness especially in long points/games. What do I need to increase my endurance, stamina, explosiveness, etc?

Opponents
It pays to know the opponent. As stated in the Art of War, It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single battle. What are the strengths and weaknesses of the opponent? How can I capitalize?

Resilience
The battle is not over until the time has elapsed or a team has reached a certain number of points. If none of those situations are met, the show must go on despite whatever the circumstances are. How can I continue to play and give it my all even if we are behind/tired? How can I not be affected whenever others are demoralized? How can I keep the good morale?

Team
Ultimate is a team sport. In team, Together Everyone Achieves More. What can I do to help the team? What is my role? Are my goals aligned with the goals of the team?

On Begnite

Meralco Begnite
The place to be on Mondays
Where it all started

First time raindrops fell
White top – obviously not smart
Hello rain or shine

Stood at the corner
Ignored the circumstances
The show must go on

Backhand and forehand
Suddenly called for scrimmage
Noob slipped and failed pass

Just picked myself up
Caught the disc at the end zone
Addiction began

On Being Foolish

Whenever I ask my teammates if they want to win the obvious answer I get is "yes". But how come I cannot see this "yes" in actions? Then again, who am I to judge. My passion and determination to win might be in a different level and it might be getting the best of me once again.

What am I to do? I am SO tired of losing. In my countless years involved in team sports I was never part of a team with a winning tradition. Most often, I belong to a team lacking in talent, experience and fundamentals. That is okay with me as long as there is heart and determination displayed in every practice and game.

This makes me think if I should continue to play competitively cause I am not sure if every single teammate of mine is in the same page as I am. Maybe I should just play for leisure to prevent further heartaches cause honestly it sucks big time. The difference between impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination and truth be told I do not see that in each of my teammates.

But, I am stupid. I am foolish. I cannot stop. Whenever I do not get the outcome I want it pushes me to try again. Try and try even if it hurts hoping that the next result will be the one I am yearning for. Is there something wrong with me?

As they say: Winners are not people who never fail, but people who never quit.

Kahit isang panalo (for now) lang please?
Tas isa pa ulit.. at...times infinity.

On Semi Cool Off

I love you both equally. You guys are my motivation to get up each day. I always look forward to spending my time with you guys after work. It disappoints when something comes up and my time is consumed elsewhere rather having quality time you guys. So disappointed that I get guilty and feel that I need to make it up to you guys.

But I have to face reality. There are days when I have to call a rain check. Days wherein family, work and health interferes. I thought I had enough passion and energy to do the things that I enjoy and love. Yet, it is unfair for you if pagsabay ko kayo like what I am currently doing. One way or another schedules would overlap. My body cannot take it. Ultimately, I would not be able to perform as I expect from myself.

I need to make a decision. It is a tough one but I guess it is for the best. So... would it be okay if semi cool off muna tayo for two months? Semi cool off meaning that I will prioritize my first love for now. Sana okay lang at hindi ka magtampo. :/ I hope you would still accept me with arms wide open when I come back.

Kthnxbye.

On Perspective

In basketball, coach mentioned that I should take more attempts especially when I am free. I was open after the first pass and my teammate shouted "shot", so I took the attempt. Two more attempts from a play and an quickie sideline inbound. I also had another one from a looper from behind the backboard. Too bad for me and all of those tries did not go in. Thus, I am now tagged as "bwakaw" by some. On the other hand, if all those went in, even if it was a circus attempt then WOW, good basket!

Coach believes that I can make those baskets so I will play my role. Despite all those side comments, I will continue to take those attempts. If I don't take the risk then how would I know if my attempt will go in or not. It is better to take those attempts rather commit turnover. Of course, I need to work on my shooting. Oh well, towel, natatawa nalang ako. :))

On RAG-B

To play and have fun
Such a wonderful feeling
I missed you RAG-B!

It feels good to play
When there is encouragement
From every teammate

TO or what may
Accept whatever happens
No blaming occurs

No hot angry heads
Only heads looking ahead
Also held up high

Pressure is lighter
Game is steady and relaxed
Confidence emits

We may be smaller
But heart is always present
There's no backing down

Untitled

I am so so tired
Don't know where to place myself
Relax or uptight?

Pagod na ako
Di alam san lulugar
Luwag o higpit?

Ultimate Frisbee,
You think I really love you?
Oh yes, yes I do!

Err, but as they say....
Oh easy come, easy go.
Please don't let me down...

On WPBL

Hmm, am I ready?
Can I handle the challenge?
And manage my time?

Argh! It's killing me!
Work, Ultimate, Basketball
Family et all.

Have no idea
Do not know our opponents
Don't know the details.

I just want to play
Cause ball is my first true love
And I can't leave it.

April 2's the day
The start of another league
Can I handle it?
----
Self, from this point on...
Focus and Prioritize
***, eyes on the prize.

On March 28 Begnite

I guess I exerted to much effort. You know the feeling when your legs are SO tired and it just gives up? Well, that happened to me right in front of the bench of the opposite team. Wala lang, napatid lang ako sa sarili kong mga paa. :|

It was a frustrating night. I know it was just beginners night, but I don't like the feeling when the opponent ate my team alive. Even if the other team was composed of regular and league players, that should not stop us from playing with spirit. It is okay not to win, but at least show some heart. Nakakagigil, promise.

On a high note, I had a mala-airness point. Also, my defense was there. Deflected a yummy end zone attempt and a huck of the instructor to a huge guy. But karma acted fast and the instructor foiled my attempt for another Jordan-catch. Defense is truly the best offense.

On Losing

I do not take losing very lightly. Yes, it is a fact that the outcome may not go as planned. I can accept failure, but I can’t accept not trying. I dislike the feeling of dissatisfaction or lack of fulfillment afterwards. It haunts me.

Clearly I am serious when it comes to Ultimate and Basketball. Too serious that I guess my passion gets in the way and my intensity gets the best of me. But then I again, it would be unfair to the sport if I do not go all out every single time may it be in practice or in an actual game. How would I except the sport to love me back if I held back? What is the sense of playing competitively?

Ultimate and Basketball are team sports. I am not taking it against anyone except myself, but I guess I just need to accept the fact not everyone shares the same seriousity that I possess to prevent future frustrations. Hopefully this will not stop me from pushing myself to achieve my full potential.

As they say: one should not stop trying to operate in excellence. I should keep in mind that no matter how discouraged I get I should still have DIGNITY. Therefore, I hope that even if it upsets me when things are not going as planned I can continue to push myself and not lose hope. Once I give up and lose hope, then it is already game over.

On Stoked

Unknown sensations
Trickle in as I close in
This is it, pancit!

Hear the waves roaring
See the white water crashing
Excitement kicks in

Blood pumps through my veins
Adrenaline rush
This is the moment!

After many falls
Nth volume of water drank
That cannot stop me

After each wipeout
I pick myself up each time
To attempt again

Thanks, fighting spirit!
I finally got to ride!
This is what stoked is.